Spent!

Spent Spent Spent is how I felt by mid-afternoon. (And according to Gerry, I was grumpy.) When he asked me why I was grumpy, all I could think of to say was "I am tired!". Depleted.

It was a demanding 'pastoral care day' that didn't go exactly as I had planned. I had home visits scheduled for morning and afternoon. Then there was a phone request for an additional home visit, and then in the afternoon, I was called to make an emergency hospital visit. There was more to do than there was energy to do it. The last event of the day was a visit to the home of a ninety two year old man. He wasn't especially talkative or outgoing and so I was carrying much of the weight of the conversation. Then suddenly, I noticed that I had 'run out of gas' completely. (This is something that rarely happens to me). There I sat and could not think of one word to say, like being on the other side of empty, down to the last few miles, running on fumes.

In the ministry I have always had to be careful not to burn out. (Well, I have burnt out before, many times).

I guess all I can hope is that my energy gets re-kindled. I haven't had a slow, get-up-late, do nothing kind of day in a long long time. I must be overdue! I'll try to save Saturday to be lazy.

If retirement is a destination, I have not yet arrived. If it is a process, I'm still unfolding. If it is task to accomplish, it is not yet done.

Clearly, I haven't found the balance between feast and famine, work and rest, to do or not to do, to be or not to be.

Balance is what I need. (Or maybe it is sleep!)