As a youth, I remember how awkward it felt to try to go back to the town from which we had moved. Immediately after one has left, the dynamics of relationship change. That has always been true of going back to a church one has served. Though both you and the parishioners may have positive or even affectionate feelings about your ministry, once you have moved on, everything is different. In fact, I remember after we merely announced the move that was taking place in my first parish, the relationships changed immediately! Much of that has to do with the pastoral "role" being filled by someone else.
We were going 'to town' for a luncheon today. The new pastor of my former church extended an invitation to Gerry and I to 'stop by and see all the construction going on at church'. A good deal of the inside of the church is "under construction" as they try to renovate following extensive flood damage. Rooms are being painted. New flooring will go down in much of the first floor. There are new furnishings, etc. In unsettling ways, I felt out of place. I guess that is inevitable.
Still, it is an odd feeling, probably somewhat about a loss of intimacy. The relationship between a pastor and her/his congregation is probably most like a marriage. Not "being married" any more carries with it some baggage, no matter how amicable the "divorce."
But I would have to say that the rewards are definitely worth the pain of the inevitable separation!
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