Interim Ending

Feeling like it is the right thing to do, and needing more freedom,  I gave notice today that I will not be renewing my Interim contract when these three months are up in early October.  I would have served nine months by then, and have not really had any vacation.  So I am very much ready for a change.  At first when I began to think about the work ending, I was worried about "what I would do".

We got the church newsletter in the mail, and there were a number of events I wanted to put on the calendar.  Some things we will continue, even after I am not on the staff.   I want to attend my grand-daughter's home volleyball games, so those are on the calendar now.  We have a trip planned in October to visit friends in South Carolina.  I now belong to the Ladies Literary Club, and that will start up in September.  Suddenly the calendar is full without even trying!

Actually,  not having things to do has never really been a problem in our lives.  We were both on the School board when we met and fell in love and decided to get married.  That is so all consuming, in terms of time and energy and effort,  people wondered how we would manage when neither of us were on the Board any more.  Our resignation from the board and engagement announcement made the front page of the local newspaper.  Gerry's quote in that article has proved to be prophetic for all these years.  He said,  "I think we'll find plenty of things to do."

And oh how true that has been!

Bridal Tea

Cilla and Michelle and I traveled to Long Island over Saturday and Sunday to attend Youngest Offspring's bridal shower.  We were very excited to surprise her.  She did not know we were coming, at least not for sure. Only one person knew, and she did not tell. Yo probably wondered, but had not heard that we would be there.  Our intent was to show up at the shower, which was held at a girlie party house called The Tea Pot.

We stayed over Saturday night in Freeport, NY.  After checkout, we had time before the party, so we decided to go and check out Yo and Matt's new house.  We had the address and off we went.  While we were standing in the street taking pictures, YO and her friends actually drove up the street and we "got caught".  It turned out to be a good thing, because had that not happened, we would not have gotten to see the inside of the house.  It worked out very very well. And what a lovely house it is!

Here is Youngest Offspring in her sash and crown, as "queen of the hour".   We all had a lot of fun.  It was also a delightful adventure for the other two daughters and I who got to travel together and laugh a lot.

So many good memories in the making this year!  I will cherish them!

(Note:  I missed the other surprise party, the 80th for a friend.  Gerry went to that one.)

Surprise Party

Gerry and I were invited to a surprise 80th birthday party for a friend, happening on Sunday.  That got me to thinking about surprise parties.  I was telling a friend today that as a rule, as a family, we don't do surprise parties.  My oldest daughter's best friend once threw one for her. But aside from that,  we haven't done much of that.  My friend and I both reflected on our experiences with our one and only birthday party each,  which were surprises.  Hers was for her 16th birthday;  mine was my eleventh birthday.   She was very moved and touched by hers, and thought it was so wonderful.  I was just eleven and lived in a very rural area of the state.  In order to get  me out, appropriately dressed,  the cover-story (lie) I was told is that we were going to the movies in Memphis.

So we stopped off at the neighbor's house, and a gathering of people all jumped out and yelled:  "Surprise."  It took a while for it to soak in that this was a party for me.  I kept wondering about the movie.  When were we leaving?  Who all was going?  It took some time for me to sort out that the movies just were not going to happen that day.  I think I even felt a bit of disappointment, to tell the truth.  I was fully convinced by that lie!

 Come to think of it, maybe that is why I can live quite happily for the rest of my life without ever having to be surprised like that again!

I wonder if our friend will actually be surprised?   Can all those people who were invited really keep that secret?  Can they get him there without some big lie?   What will his reaction be?   I wonder how it will all turn out!

I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Paying Attention

I am reading a book by Deepak Chopra, Reinventing the Body, Resurrecting the Soul.  I have read some of his material over the years.  This book was in the New Release section of the local library.   I'm so glad I found it.   It offers clarification on a lot of things that are very helpful for me.  For instance,  he explains the difference between reflection, contemplation and meditation.  I was unaware of the subtle distinctions, and might use the first two interchangeably. 

 Reflection tends to primarily intellectual, taking a second look at one's beliefs and assumptions.  Contemplation focuses on a thought until it expands as far as it can, hopefully to the point of letting go.  Meditation is a search for a higher state of awareness.  This is more about emptying than thinking.   I find this helpful so I can identify where I have traveled along this spectrum.   I have done a great deal of reflection, maybe even a 9 on a scale of 10.   I have even gotten into contemplation of some matters,  to the point that healing has occurred.  Meditation is a state I have experienced very rarely.  I have indeed had fleeting moments of higher awareness,  but those were not really a result of deep focus and intentional breathing.

Another fascinating description is the difference between soul, mind and brain.  This is how that was described:

Soul carries the potential
Mind carries the intention
Brain produces the result

Chopra does not espouse any one particular religion, but speaks from a position of "universaility".  He quotes Christ frequently,  which is very helpful for the Christian reader to be able to put into context some of the more eastern ideas.

At this particular moment in my life,  (and perhaps for a long time)  I am definitely on the spiritual path to expand, grow, learn, heal, discover new possibilities.   The clues always come from the soul.  The trick is to learn to listen for it, pay attention, trust it.

I am open, and listening.

Garden Mouse

This is the last of the zucchini! I'll be glad to see the plant go. Most of them are now way past their prime, except for the small tomatoes, which badly need to be picked and consumed.  I'll have to do something about that today. They are yellow when ripe, and sweet and delicious.

 It has been obvious for a while that a mouse lives in the garden.  I even saw it once.  The marks on this zucchini are teeth marks!  It makes me smile to imagine what a happy mouse it must have been (be?) gnawing away busily on a delicious dark green fruit.    The teeth marks speak to me of optimism,  a creature trying to consume a vegetable which must be five times its size.  You could feed a lot of mice with that zucchini!

I think the people have probably had enough!

Numbers Game

My husband Gerry also has a blog.  He has unfortunately, showed me the "stats" function on the blog-o-world.   Blogger keeps track of the number of 'hits' one gets, on which particular post, from what country, etc.   To be honest,  I was much happier not knowing about blogger stats!   Now that I DO know,  that's just one more thing to fret about,  try to keep track of, react to.

In my experience,  the numbers game is mostly about comparing yourself to somebody else.  We do it with income, weight, or church attendance.   We do it with the price of our car or home, or the amount of our assets, or our  grade point average or profit margin. The temptation of the numbers game is to compare yourself numerically to someone/something else, the outcome of which is inevitably going to bring disappointment.

 I immediately compared myself to Gerry's stats, and noticed that his numbers were so much larger than mine.  I was crushed, of course.   Eventually, however, after looking carefully at his stats and at my stats,  I can see now that one must not rush to look at just the bottom line, overall number.   In this instance,  Gerry's overall number covers six months, at least, and maybe more.  For whatever reason,  my stats cover only July and August.  If they covered the entire period of my blogging,  I'm sure my numbers would be significantly higher than they are..

I hate any act of comparing myself to someone else.   But once you have opened the box of knowing, there is no way to go back to unknowing.  Years ago,  I happened to accidentally see a printout of the salaries of people in my department.  I learned quickly that having that kind of information serves only to make one miserable!

I hate the numbers game!    I wish I could say that I am never going to play it again!!

Sundays

Sunday is a laid back day, compared to most.  Worship in the morning.  Reading the newspaper in the afternoon.  Watching television at night.   Nothing too exciting.   I guess the sad sad truth is, I'm not looking for big huge excitement in my life.  I like mellow.  I like being home.  I like a routine.  Even if that makes me a terribly dull girl,  I don't even care!   To be perfectly honest,  I've had enough excitement to last me three or perhaps four lifetimes.

Rather than excitement,  (which might have been a goal at one time),  now I aim for balance (which is a spiritual state). Not surprisingly,  I am not there yet,  but I am working on that. One does have to ask what that would look like, this balanced life.  Here is what I imagine that would be like,  specifically for me, and my unique traits and characteristics:

A close family filled with love and joy;  a loving marriage
Mind and body in sync;  being comfortable in my body
Excellent health, with strong resistance to any illness or disease
Regular exercise doing something I enjoy
Aware of and in touch with nature and all its beauty and pleasures
Lots of people interaction and a few good friends
Occasional opportunities for being creative;  intellectual challenges
No unresolved emotional or spiritual issues
Living more in the present than in the past or future
Being grateful, joyful, whole.

 I do know that all this is the kind of stuff that those of us who are Sixty Plus have the leisure and freedom to think about and work on.   Or maybe some of us have just always thought about this sort of stuff?

With fewer demands, distractions, pulls, it is much easier to get a really good glimpse at balance, at this stage of life, rather than earlier.

Now I can take my time, and really focus.

  

Nature's Lessons

I had a house plant that wasn't doing very well.   It was pretty ugly, actually.  There were just three scrawny stems coming out of it.   Finally, I decided that I should just take it away since it was most unattractive.  I pulled out the three sick pieces that were left.  Absentmindedly,  I placed the container it in the window of the sun room and forgot about it. In a very short period of time, a lush new growth had appeared.

I remember our trip to state parks out west, where wild fires were common.  Despite the destruction of the trees and the seeming devastation,  the forest floor was awash with new green growth. New life could emerge where the light could finally penetrate.  Nature has a way of renewing itself.

In a way,  this is the same theme of my sermon tomorrow on Elijah and Elisha.  The prophet Elijah came to the end of his ministry, worn out and weary.  God told him to 'pass his mantle' to Elisha,  which he did, and Elisha took up the prophet's ministry, and Elijah enjoyed a lively chariot ride home.

Life is a process of birth, death, and resurrection, whether you are a plant or a prophet, or even a church,  I suppose.  So often we stubbornly hold on to something that needs to be put out of its misery, when letting it go allows for it to be renewed!

Letting go of those three scrawny stems certainly provided an opportunity for the plant to begin again, with great vigor and enthusiasm!

A Quick Decision

It is Friday and I was playing tennis at the college.  A very large helicopter kept hovering overhead making a very loud noise.   I think the only thoughts we had were that it was so annoying we could not hear the score being called out. It did seem to be circling in our area, and not moving on.  This went on for quite a while.   Then a woman appeared at the court fence, clearing trying to say something to the players.  I went near.  She said that there was an armed robber on the loose who had robbed KFC.  They were asking everyone to come inside.   We gathered our things and headed up the sidewalk toward the building.   I did NOT want to go into that building, where I could possibly spend the next 8 hours.  To go into that building meant that I no longer had control over my day off!  As we approached, I said to the woman, "Can I get in my car and go home?"   She said:  that is entirely up to you.  I made a quick left to my car, which was only 20 feet away.

No way was I going to give up my whole day inside waiting and wondering. In my mind,  I suppose,  someone who robs KFC does not seem so threatening.  That is probably a silly thought.  Someone who robs KFC is probably pretty desperate.  

All morning I was looking forward to my special coffee, needing to wait until after tennis.  I got a picture in my mind of the service station to the left, as you leave the college. In the last town where I lived, the service station where I got my morning cappuccino was robbed at gunpoint, shortly after I moved.

I did at least make that concession and turn right toward home.   There is always another day for cappuccino!

From the Mountain to the Valley

I have experienced quite a shift today from the exhuberant highs of joy this past weekend, to the doldrums of despair associated with the situation I encountered.

I made a hospital visit today to see "Joe", a parishioner in the hospital following surgery. It absolutely broke my heart, for many reasons. Joe had surgery last week for throat cancer, and it was a long and complicated surgery, requiring the removal of the voice box and other things. I saw him the day after the surgery. Things have changed. Senior Pastor told me this morning that he learned from Joe's wife that last week, Joe had pulled out his tubes, presumably the feeding tube and a throat tube. I felt so sad to hear that.

But I was unprepared for how sad and broken hearted I felt when I actually saw him. Pre-surgery, Joe had some limitations. He is legally blind and can see only partially. Post surgery, he cannot speak. Now he cannot see or speak, only hear. He will hereafter be breathing from a tracheotomy tube in his throat. He had to return to the operating room and have the tubes re-inserted. Now his hands are restrained so he cannot pull them out again.

What I learned from all this is that if one agrees to a medical procedure in a hospital, one's end of life decisions are no longer in your hands, especially if you cannot speak! Life extending procedures go into effect on auto pilot in hospitals. That is their job.

Even with all of this, Joe still faces many months of chemo and radiation, implanting a voice box, physical therapy, etc. I cannot imagine that he really wants to go through all of that. I know I would not. Joe has a strong faith and is not afraid of death.

Death is not the worst thing. It is, in fact, the way forward, the bridge between this world and the next.

Don't we all hope to travel that bridge with dignity! In some cases, sooner does seem better than later.

A Joyous Joyous Day

It is hard to imagine a more joyful event than Michelle and Pedro's wedding. Both of them were completely aglow with happiness. And everyone in attendance was able to enjoy that amazing joy. One's wedding does tend to be a unique experience when all the focus of attention is on you. Everyone has come to honor and celebrate you! Prince and Princess, King and Queen of the day!

In this particular case, neither the bride nor the groom, both of whom are extremely humble and unassuming, had been so noticed in such a center-of-the-universe kind of way before. It was a flawless wedding and reception. Even the rain did not manage to dampen any spirits. The tent was in place as a back-up plan, in case of rain. The ceremony did take place under the tent. And the rain was never a downpour, just a gentle rain, much like the bride and groom. The wedding was so sweet, I don't think anyone even noticed the rain at all.

The groom sang a song to his bride. She was entranced! The groom's brother and his wife also sang a song at the end of the service, One Hand, One Heart. There were remarks by both families. There were plenty of tears!

Gerry did his parts beautifully, especially the father-daughter dance. Cilla made the cake. It was delicious. Everyone in both families was a participant in one way or another.

This was an awesome day of celebration that all of us will remember, so grateful to have been a part of it!

Families

Families are so interesting. They come in infinite variety. Despite the endless idealization of family, there is no such thing as a perfect family, nor anything close. All of them are very messy; many of them are broken. Most are functional; some are dysfunctional. They cause pain and anxiety, sleepless nights and endless discussion. At the same time, family is the source of our greatest joys in this life!

Michelle's fiance comes from a family of seven children, with six sons and one daughter.*(our combined seven are made up of six daughters and one son) It will be fun and interesting to see all of Pedro's family, and how they interact. They are traveling from as far away as Spain and Oregon and California. We have already discovered that the family frequently switches into speaking Spanish to one another. It is more a matter of the more English proficient helping the parents find the right word in English to express what they want to say. or interpreting what is spoken. (That is my observation/assumption, at least!)

Soon we will all be off to the ceremony and then the dance floor!

A Good Sign

This morning I went to sit down on the sun porch to drink my coffee, a special treat. (one I don't get to do on work days, just days off) I immediately noticed a blue flower on my trellis. I was so excited. I have had my trellis for three years now, and only toward the end of this summer have I managed to get anything to climb up it. There have been many disappointing and costly attempts. I have waited so long to see that morning glory.

I consider it a special omen of good things to come. This is the week of Michelle's wedding. And here clearly, is something blue! The flower blossomed at just the right time, as far as I am concerned. So also did she! What a blessing they will be for each other. The signs of that are already clear.

Last night we had a wonderful evening with her fiance's parents, who are from Spain. It was good to spend some time together and get acquainted before the wedding. The conversation flowed easily, as did the affection and appreciation. They had seven children. We have seven between us. Both fathers were professors at Cornell. It was a special occasion for all of us.

I trust that the wedding will be a glorious occasion for all of us as well, as we bring together two different families. That's what the flower speaks to me.

Getting Ready

Today was a day of getting ready. I am getting ready for weddings, taking care of little details. I am packing a box for Yo's wedding. I have a bag ready for Michelle's wedding, adding little things as I think of them. I bought wrapping paper for Yo's shower gift. Yo said last night that we need to provide an 8x10 wedding picture of Gerry and me. We did not have a traditional wedding with a professional photographer. (small church wedding). We do have small photos. I'm sure I can manage to get one of those enlarged.

I worked on Michelle's ceremony today. We are entertaining Michelle's future parents-in-law on Sunday, so most of the day has been occupied by cleaning and running errands and getting ready for that. It's a really good excuse to get flowers! I treated myself to some for both the living room and the dining room table!

It is as perfect a day as I can ever remember. The temperature is comfortable. The skies are blue with big puffy white clouds. There has been a lovely breeze. Simply could not ask for more!

Next weekend is Michelle's wedding. I am sure it is going to be special and lovely. I am quite relaxed about it all.

Life is going to be very different when these weddings are over! (What will I think about all the time? What will I be getting ready for?)

Park Excursion

Apparently, there is a tradition of taking pre-wedding photos [who knew?], according to youngest offspring, whose wedding is happening in September. She was anxious about not knowing the exact location of where that would happen, and asked if I would have time to go and check out some parks in the general area of where the wedding is going to take place.

So off we went to visit parks this afternoon. First, we went to one with which we are fairly familiar, having been to that park many times, near Owasco lake. It had some possibilities, but not many really. Even though I thought that would be the preferable site, actually it was not.

The second park, in an urban setting, had many more lovely locations for taking wedding photos. There is a pond with cascading water, flower beds, a gazebo, trees, lovely steps, as well as ducks and flowers. Gerry and I agreed that this was definitely the preferable location and we took lots of pictures to send to our daughter.

And we stopped on the way home at an old familiar ice cream stand to reward ourselves for our good work. They know exactly how to mix chocolate and peanut butter sauces just the way Gerry likes it. That special treat made the trip worth while.

Benefits and Rewards

This is a shortened version of a church newsletter article for next month. Thought I'd share some of it.

There is a great deal of research that shows the link between socialization, or human interaction, and life span, as well as overall health. I have read on numerous occasions how this research shows that regular church attendees typicallly enjoy better health and longer life.

This is no surprise to those of us who know the joys of a church family. the love and encouragement and support one can receive from their church family are beneficial beyond measure.

Of course, there is a lot more going on than the benefits of healthy fellowship, which is good for one's sense of well being. Beliefs and attitudes also play a huge role in the kind of life one has, and how one feels about it.

A Christian belief system is good for the soul. Here are a few reasons for that:

*provides a sense of identity, rootedness, purpose

*discourages self-centeredness

*encourages working for the common good, sharing with others

*encourages developing our gifts and talents for the glory of God

*rejectes evil and temptation in all their forms

*encourages giving and receiving forgiveness

*provides confidence in a spiritual life beyond this one

Being part of a church family and a Christian belief system is beneficial not only to our health and longevity, but has implications for the overall satisfaction we may enjoy in our daily lives.

So many people just don't know what they are missing!