Out of Left Field

I work very hard at trying to live my life out of a place of  mature self-awareness.  At one end of the spectrum is the self-centered ego;  at the other end,  the spiritually centered soul.   The goal is to keep the ego in its place,  not in the driver's seat.  I do pretty well most of the time.  Recently I've done a lot of reading, from which I have had major epiphanies.

So, when an 'attack of ego' struck out of left field this week,  it surprised me so much.   I could recognize that my feelings did not come from my higher self.  They were not rational.  But I was absolutely helpless to keep myself from feeling them. Those feelings made me very sad, even though they had no real basis for concern.

 I could tell instantly that my "ego dangers" are not from arrogance or being self-centered, but from a deep seated insecurity.  Probably I will never be able to rid myself entirely of that particular demon. Correction needed here:  being insecure IS self-centered!

Feelings are neither good nor bad.  They just are. They move across the screen of consciousness. You feel them and move on.  Maybe I just needed to feel sad.

When it comes to one's personal development,  there is always, always, so much work still to be done!