Undecorating

I suppose I am one of the few people who takes down the Christmas decorations before the New Year arrives. As far back as I can remember,  I always have.  By then, the tree has probably been up for three weeks, and that's long enough for me.  By then, it is dropping needles.   Oh, how I hate the process of removing the tree, and getting all those needles on the carpet,  especially our current white carpet!   My experience is that a vacuum just won't pick them up, so sweeping, picking is a very time consuming process.  Clearly, evergreens belong outside!

Un-Christmas decorating is usually not something I do all at once.  Different Christmas items disappear a few at a time, and are placed in their respective boxes until next year.  When the living room was put back together with chairs in their proper places,  Gerry commented that it looks plain.  And he is right.  But by the time I rush to fill up the plainness,  I will have grown accustomed to it, and not want to change it.

 I like for New Year's to begin with a "clean slate".   And I also am quite fond of the regular life routine,  meaning specifically,  over the holiday season the television programming leaves much to be desired.  I'll be happy to see some new ones of my old favorite shows again.

Most of all, I do love seeing my family and cooking the holiday meal.  At the moment, the dining room is filled completely to capacity with the table and twelve people.  But we figured out what to do when the number increases, which surely it will, with either a significant other, or a new grandchild.   We'll bring the table out into the open area in the great room, and just add a table to the end of it.  That'll work.

It was on this day forty years ago that I gave birth to my first born child,  who was named Brenda.  Forty years!  That's hard to fathom. Probably as much for her as for me.  We've done well together, this mother and child,  enjoying one another.  

Life goes on.  Speedily!

967 Across 963 Down

This blog's title is the actual number of clues!  This is a crosswords puzzle for the ages,  the newspaper puzzle on Christmas Day!!  Four or five family members worked on it on Christmas Day while they were here.  I worked on it last night at midnight while Gerry was asleep, and this morning while he is skiing.  He worked on it last night when I was doing other things.  It may well be a week-long puzzle!

The puzzle clues themselves are not very difficult.  There are other challenges.  The first is the size of the clue numbers.  Even my bifocals have a hard time deciphering a 833 from a 883 down.  The next big challenge is keeping your place.   When your eye leaves the puzzle to go in search of the clue,  by the time you have found the clue, you have completely forgotten exactly where the place is on the puzzle you were working.  You could hold you place with your finger,  but when working on puzzles, one is typically looking up nearby clues as well, to confirm what you think the answer is.  This becomes impossible, as there is no sequence of fingers and eye movement that can hold all that together.  And the move from the across section to the down section is a many numbered nightmare.

We keep the puzzle out laying on the counter for whoever wants to undertake solving it.  The page is much bigger than the counter, so that complicates things further.  Since we eat at the table, that would not be a good place to store the evolving crossroad torturer.

One could simply toss it into the recycle bin, I suppose.   It's a temptation. But no one has.  It seems the temptation to solve it is stronger. I do hope this Christmas Day puzzle is a once in a lifetime newspaper inclusion and not an annual event!

That would be too much to bear!  Sigh.

The Day After

Today is officially the day after Christmas.  It was a happy event, characterized by:  Family, Feast, Fellowship, and Puzzles (of the crossword kind and otherwise).   Now begins the process of putting things away,  uploading pictures,  cleaning up,  taking stock of gifts, etc.

For me, and my own 'personal Christmas history',  I will probably remember it as the first time I've missed Christmas Eve Services in.........well.....as long as I can remember.  I would have been there had I not been sick.  I spent several days literally in bed.  I got up to do the things that absolutely had to be done to be ready, but then collapsed back into bed. Fluish, no energy.

Today, I have taken my new sewing machine out of its box, and have watched the instructional DVD.  There was only one 'new piece of information'.  All the rest was totally familiar.  The new feature which I have never had before---an automatic needle threader!   And just in time.  It has become much harder for me to thread a needle these days!  I look forward to many delightful hours of projects, and I might even make my Christmas gifts for next year!    (From the look of things,  Gerry is going to have as much fun making me a sewing room, as I am going to have sewing!)

The homemade whole wheat rolls I made for dinner were such a hit, however, maybe that is the gift I should make and give next time!

Goodbye Christmas 2010.  Already a thing of the past.

The Third Act

I have just been listening to a conversation between Oprah Winfrey and Jane Fonda.   According to Fonda, act one of life is birth to 29;  act two is 30 to fifty nine; and act three is 60 and over. Act One is all about formation.   Act Two is when one is working, producing, creating.   Act three is characterized by knowing who you are,  by being wise, hopefully, being healed and whole (certainly the life goal).

All of this would lead one to believe that by the time one is in the third act of life, it's time to get it right,  have it straight.  It's time to work on the "bucket list".   Or to set right things right that have gone awry.   To speak up.  To stop trying to please everyone else.  To know what to leave behind.  To connect.

Being Sixty Plus is certainly all about being in Act Three.   However,  I do believe that when the production is over and the final curtain falls, there is more.

And it could very well be the best part.

Almost Christmas

The stockings are hung by the chimney with care.  Well, not really.  But the meat is out of the freezer and in the fridge.   The groceries have been purchased.  The presents are wrapped.  There is menu plan involving all sorts of rich dishes.   Everyone has been invited to come, and hopefully will.

Yo and Matt will arrive late on Christmas Eve.  We will go to the Candlelight Service at church, as always.  It's funny,  as a retired clergy person,  I have never missed preaching at Christmas. I'm an Easter preacher, so that may be why. And ironically enough,  I was working in churches in both 2009 and 2010 so that I  did get to participate during the Lent and Easter seasons. The day may come when I am just a parishioner in the pew,  but that day has not yet happened for Easter.

I always got so nervous on Christmas Eve.  I think that is because I felt so much pressure to deliver a meaningful, memorable, and unmistakably spiritual service and sermon (over against the hugely secular buildup). And also, perhaps because there were always so many people there whom I did not know.

Now Christmas is so much easier, and it is mostly about family.  For all the years of ministry,  I was so exhausted on Christmas Day that I could barely get through it.

I do have a wonderful memory of Christmas 1981, the first one Gerry and I spent together.  There was a magical moment there in the midst of the carol singing and the candle lighting.  It was a moment of suspended love so palatable that it could almost knock you over.

And that's kind of what Christmas was and is all about anyway---a love so tender and divine that it was only suitable for a newborn.

Merry Christmas and Peace to all God's children.

Dinner With Friends

Last night we had a lovely dinner with friends who invited us and another couple.  I am giving a presentation on Thursday night at church, and the hosting couple will not be there, so I know they wanted to socialize and hear a bit of "my story", which they will miss.

Then came the question:  "Nancy, what do you do to occupy your time?"  That's always a difficult question for me to answer.  I am pretty much occupied much of the time,  but it is not very interesting to talk about.  Reading a book.   Ironing a shirt.  Shopping for groceries, and perhaps more often than not:  Having  Lunch or Dinner With Friends!  Other people's 'occupations' sound so much more interesting.  Like Gerry's!  He can brag about skiing all the time, or playing tennis, or going into the office.

But the truth is,  'having lunch with friends' and 'socializing' is exactly the kind of life I wanted to have in retirement.  Church life has many many church functions with meals to attend,  but that is quite different from having dinner with friends.  Church functions is part of 'work'.  And nurturing old friends and making new ones was also part of my dreams and hopes.   So, I suppose the truth is---I am occupied by doing all the things I had hoped to do!

We enjoyed a lovely evening with plenty of good conversation, delicious food,  and lots of laughter.   Nothing is better than that!

At Home

I would observe, as I go through the process of 'becoming a retired person',  that it takes time to learn to just be at home.  For a time, there is the urge to be doing something, accomplishing something.  There is a bit of guilt at not making a larger contribution to the world, on a daily basis.  I am learning to just be happy being at home. I can sleep late, stay up late, go and do wherever or whatever I wish.  I am still learning to just 'be in the moment'.

There are so many things about our home to enjoy.  It is a lovely space to occupy, for a whole host of reasons.  The living area (great room) is an open and bright and airy space.  In warmer weather,  there is a sun room, which is like being outside, while still being inside.  The kitchen is roomy and overlooks the great room.  When we first bought this house, I remember thinking how this would be such a happy home to live in.   And it is.

I am always proud to host people in our home.  This year I have been in the homes of countless other people, for various reasons.  As far as home style goes, I would say ours is 'sparse', meaning there is more open space than things, which is a style choice.  No matter how grand or how beautifully appointed someone else's house may be,  there is not any other that I have any desire to occupy.

Home is deeply personal.  It reflects one's values, one's choices, preferences, lifestyle.   I do hope ours says that we are warm and inviting,  simple and elegant,  orderly and open.  I think it does.

Unique Cantata

Today's Cantata at church was probably the most unusual I have seen.  It was as much of a dramatic production as it was a musical cantata.  There were all the usual characters of The Nativity (its title) and  also in full costume, a cow, a sheep, a goat.   If I try to explain why this cantata was so unusual, I would have to peel back a number of layers, look at a variety of elements.

 First, it was musically complex with complicated parts to sing, often in minor key.  We were sitting near the pianist, and there was one place in particular where she had to create special effects for a disturbing scene  (Herod has ordered all newborns killed).  She played bass notes with her left hand, and used her entire right arm and smashed all the keys on the right side of the piano.  Very effective!!.

Second, it was dramatically complex, with the choir and the characters moving to various locations as the story progressed.  Even the storytellers moved from one place to another, and they were also members of the choir.  There were combinations of the choir singing and characters speaking.  Particularly noteworthy was the character of Herod (that was certainly some perfect casting)!  The choir (the people of Judea) are singing about the one who is coming to be their king, and Herod is yelling  "I'm the king of the Jews!"  repeatedly throughout the number.  It was most dynamic!

The person who wrote the narrative parts intentionally and unabashedly used humor.  For example, when it got to the part where Mary announces that she is with child,  one of the storytellers steps up and talks to the audience:  "This is the part nobody likes."    Joseph says:  'How do you think I feel?'   A little later, as the action moves forward,  Joseph looks out at the audience and says:  "Why am I in this story anyway?"  [Later that question is answered. He helps Mary and the baby escape to Egypt]   Parts of the "play" could be described as melodrama,  which is characterized by the actors stepping out of their roles, to comment on what was happening.

The costumes were extraordinary, Broadway-worthy.   Hats off to the director and the accompanist! There was so much music and movement to coordinate! There were thirty two choir members and actors, and a great deal of talent all around. Thrown into the mix were chimes and bells,  snare and cymbal,  handbells and French horn.

What an engaging and moving and memorable Christmas Cantata!

Having Time

I have entitled this "having time" but that is probably a misnomer.  Everyone has the exact same amount of time in their lives---twenty four hours a day.  The demands on one's time differ with each individual, and differ significantly at various stages in our lives.

At my current stage,  I can really appreciate taking the time to do things I have not previously done or done well or enjoyed.  For instance, when I was raising a family and working full time,  ironing was not at the top of my list.  I learned to avoid wrinkles in clothing by taking them out of the dryer while the dryer was still going around.  My family was mostly wrinkle free,  but I did not iron. Now that I have lots of time,  I actually enjoy that task. I could take Gerry's shirts to the cleaners,  but I have a good iron, lots of time, and ironing brings me pleasure.

 When I was in my youth,  I did learn the rudiments of sewing,  but I was always in a rush, and impatient, so I was not able to produce a really good quality apron, or other homemade items.    Now, I can take my time   perhaps I can learn to enjoy sewing.  I hope so, because that is a new hobby in which I want to engage in, a way to be creative.

Time is, of course, a human invention. In the olden days, the passage of time was marked by the movement of the sun and moon. I am sure that keeping track of increments of time in hours and minutes did not yet exist.  Time as we know it today is finite----just so many hours in a day, so many in a week, so many in a life.  In our modern world,  there is the inclination to cram as much into a day as humanly possible.  The irony is that makes time fly by,  puts our lives on fast forward.

  I don't believe it has to be that way.  If we did not compulsively keep track of it,  time would flow more easily, be more circular than linear,  not own us and box us in to a limited view of our existence.

Infinity is a concept that refers to a quality without bound or end, "unboundedness".   Various ideas throughout history have developed about the nature of infinity, primarily in mathematics and physics. There is also the cosmic question. Does infinity exist in our physical universe?  Does the universe have volume?  Does space go on forever?

Is time infinite?  Does it go on forever? Can one really go back to the future, so to speak?   And can one navigate time in the same manner as one can navigate the topography of Earth--meaning that if one travels in a straight line, one will eventually return to the the exact spot one started from.

What if time and the universe are the same?

 At this stage of my life I "have time" to think about all these outrageous questions.  I just have one major conclusion for today:   I would prefer to have time, rather than time having me!

A Walk Down Memory Lane

Today I traveled to a nearby town to do a little Christmas shopping.  The route took me by the high school, where the district office used to be, where Gerry and I attended school board meetings (before we were married).  Something about seeing the school brought back memories of how things were in my life back then, and in particular,  the school superintendent's thoughts about our marriage.  He was clearly a skeptic.   I am sure there were plenty of skeptical people. (We were public figures by virtue of being on the School Board).

Back then,  I was a single parent with three small children.  I was also economically at just about poverty level, though I did not think of myself as poor.  In the eyes of others, marrying Gerry certainly appeared to be a "step up"  (out of my lower middle class to his upper middle class perhaps).   He was a college professor.  I was a struggling single parent, though I did have a good job and beautiful children, and the respect of my colleagues.   Still, I am sure that some perceived me to be a 'gold digger'.

The reality is that both of us have contributed mightily and equally to create a very rich life.  Are lives are immensely enriched by our families--children and grandchildren. We have friends and acquaintances from the university where Gerry worked for almost forty years.  We have special friends from the churches where I have served. We now have new friends and activities in a new community where we have chosen to live.  There are also ski buddies and tennis partners.

 It is certainly true that marrying Gerry back then provided some measure of stability, a better house to live in,   financial security, and no longer living on the edge of economic disaster or worse.  But when I look back at our thirty years or so together, our lives have not at all been defined by that initial reality, and I have not been one who has 'ridden on his economic coattails'.  Quite to the contrary.

The first fifteen years we lived in the house that Gerry provided.  The next fifteen years, we lived in the houses that my ministry provided.  Now, we live in the house that both our careers have made possible.  Now we have new activities and friends in the community where we have chosen to retire.

Back then, when we first met at those board of education meetings long ago,  neither of us could have imagined the blessed and amazing life we have now.

And at the time, it was really and truly no more complicated than this:  We feel in love!

And that has endured!

Planning A Trip

Gerry (and I??) feels like we should travel.  We have the time, the freedom, the abilities, and the resources to do so.  He is interested in seeing the Grand Canyon.  We also talked about Minnesota, or Missouri.  We have been having discussions about the location, the purpose, the kind of transportation, the goals of planning a trip.   Flying versus taking a train versus driving.

Our last thought:  a road trip!  I have spent a good part of the past couple of days researching places on line---estimating the number of miles we might travel each day,  where we might stay, etc.   About seven days in a car, traveling is about my limit.   In St. Paul, Minnesota, we would want to see a Garrison Keillor show.  The schedule doesn't list the shows as far in advance as May, our identified travel time.

We have also often talked about going on an 'already planned' trip---a tour or adventure as part of a group, so that all we have to do is show up (and someone else has done all the planning).  A brochure came in today's mail about such a trip to explore several countries of central Europe, via the Danube River.  That looked interesting.  If a brochure came in the mail with just the right trip,  we would surely take it, we say to ourselves.  So far, that hasn't happened.

Actually, 'just the right trip' is probably Australia.  We have often said, over the years, that is a place we would like to go.  If that is the trip we really want to take, we need to plan that in the next year or two.  One needs to be in pretty good shape for that kind of an undertaking.

We will at least make the first step toward such a possibility----renew my passport!    After that, who knows?

Gifts of the Magi

I am preaching on the first Sunday of January 2011, and the scripture selection for that day happens to be about the arrival of the wise men on the scene,  bringing gifts to the Christ child.  In preparing for this service, I remembered a lovely gift given to me Christmas 2008 by the then director of music.   It is a beautiful box, which when opened up, has three sections inside filled with gold, frankincense and myrrh. (the gold is enclosed in a thick circular globe.)   I remember thinking at the time.....this is awesome--it would make a great message for children,  but alas, I was retiring, and had no more Christmas Season children's messages ahead, as far as I knew.

Lo, three years later, the opportunity emerges.  As I looked at my lovely box of the three gifts,  I decided I needed to do some research on those items, in order to give an informed message.   I already knew one aspect of the story.  The three gifts were gifts fit for a king, a priest, and a savior.   Gold for the king.  Frankincense for the priest, and myrrh for the savior. Frankincense has typically been used as an incense and myrrh has been used, for one thing, as an embalming material.  (a gift for a savior who was destined to die).   Both myrrh and frankincense have other uses as well. They have been used in religious ceremonies, often for anointing.

 They have been used for perfume and for a variety of medicinal purposes.  They come from tree resin,  and one particular species of tree which grows in Israel produces a resin, which when mixed with oil, becomes the Balm of Gilead. Myrrh in particular is believed to have significant healing properties.   In the ancient world, frankincense and myrrh were equal in value to gold.

My research revealed one other little tidbit of information that I found amazing.  An intentional gash has to be made in the tree, for it to "bleed" and produce the resin used for healing.  I immediately thought of the cross.  Theologically,  it is the Christian understanding that through Christ's sacrifice (bleeding) we are healed.

So not only do the three gifts brought to the Christ child foreshadow the different roles, titles, ways of understanding who Christ was/is  [cosmic king, high priest, savior of humanity], but the gifts also mysteriously link to the death of Jesus on the cross.  Myrrh and frankincense come from trees---trees that are injured, so they can produce healing.

The small pieces of resin  pictured below, are called 'tears'.  

What a story!!

Still Unsettled

It has been two and a half years now since my retirement from full time ministry.  And I do have to admit, that in my mind, my relationship with both ministry and the church is still unsettled.   With the ministry it is unsettled,  because I still love to preach.  (Unfortunately, that privilege only comes with the full responsibilities of a church, which I do not want).  So I am conflicted there.  But I suppose when it comes to my relationship with the church, I have probably always been conflicted.

 As a child, I didn't love being a preacher's kid. Yet, I was formed and shaped by the church experience. As a fully ordained minister, there were parts I didn't care for (capital campaigns, financial challenges, PA systems, major maintenance, statistical reports, etc.)   It is unsettled with the church because I haven't entirely adjusted to just being the person in the pew, nor completely figured out which pew.

Perhaps two and a half years just isn't long enough to remake one's identity.  It certainly took much longer to become that clergyperson!  Maybe unbecoming just takes longer!

Old Man Winter and Fire

Winter came early this year.  We have received two feet of snow the first week or so of December.  Ordinarily, Gerry would be thrilled by this turn of events.  But the ski slopes are not open every day yet,  so mostly he has just been blowing snow out of the driveway and sidewalks.  In fact,  it has been a strenuous task, because there is so much of it!  And the first day it was very wet and heavy.

My lunch date had to be cancelled due to bad roads between here and there.  That was a disappointment.  Our next venture is to put up the Christmas tree.  Gerry was pretty shocked by the fresh tree price this year, and we actually had a conversation about buy an artificial one for next year.  I would be more than happy to do that!  We'll see.

My biggest event of the day was putting out a grease fire on the stove.  It was immediately too large for baking soda, or whatever else I might have tried. But I knew instantly that I needed the fire extinguisher, though I have never used one before.  The fire alarm is screaming loudly.  Gerry is blowing snow and cannot hear it.  I am shooting fire extinguisher stuff (white, powdery) at the stove and making a huge mess!  There was so much smoke I had to open the doors to let it out.   It took quite a while to clean up the mess,  which splattered on the walls, counter and floor.  No fun.  I was only sitting a few feet a way on the couch, thankfully. (glad I wasn't in the study on my computer)  Next time I'll definitely be more careful!

I believe we are due for a bit of a break in the snowfall for a while, a respite before the next storm arrives over the weekend.

The Plow Presentation

Gerry was invited to give a presentation at church on the model plow collection he has been working on.  I was somewhat worried that it would be a topic that would not interest many people, or that they would find boring.  Nothing could be further from the truth!   It was amazing that a number of folks from other communities showed up because of interest in the topic for one reason or another.

As a hobby during retirement,  Gerry has been refurbishing a collection of antique model (miniature) plows, which is a one of a kind collection in the world.   He has translated the descriptions of them from German into English, and has repaired many of the models, as this collection, belonging to the university, was 'lost' for a time and forgotten.

The presentation had two parts.  The first part was about the collection he has been working on.  The second part was about the development of the plow itself from antiquity to modern times.  I must say that even though I've been hearing about plows for a couple of years (and rolling my eyes)  I was even fascinated and captivated by his presentation.  To be honest, he was a hit!

He brought 18 model plows to display, along with his power point presentation.  You just never know what people will find interesting.  There was an excellent turnout at this dinner, and for his presentation.  One woman came because they bought the house that once belonged to Jethrow Wood, a local person known for his invention of replaceable plow parts.  She even wore a plow necklace,  which was quite unique.  Although plows were not Gerry's academic area,  from now own, he is surely going to be known as "the plow guy."  So be it.

The Man To My Right

Last night we attended a dinner event which was held in a Chinese restaurant.   It was a ladies group, plus their spouses, so I had not met most of the spouses, as I am a new member of this group.  Sitting on my right side, at this round table,  was Dan, a man who is blind.  Of course, one is always interested and curious about how a blind person manages to navigate the challenges of life.   Dan's wife guides him as need be, but he also uses a cane.

Perhaps the most fascinating and unexpected thing about Dan was his upbeat and cheerful attitude.  He was personable, outgoing and fun to be around.  Clearly, Dan is a very capable person, currently a professor of English at a nearby community college.  Although the cause or timing of his blindness did not come up in the conversation, I did learn that he was sighted earlier in his life, and lost his sight later.   The result of that is that a later- blinded person is much less likely to learn and use the Braille system-- especially now, with all the technological helpers. (he had a talking watch!)  When a person loses one ability, it is often the case that other abilities become keener, to compensate. Since he teaches,  he has mastered the art of memorizing, and often learns the poems by heart, when doing the poetry unit, and certainly impresses his students!

Dan's wife served his food onto his plate,  but he did a marvelous job of eating without any mishaps.  They did inform the folks at our table of his blindness before dinner, so they would be aware should they see anything out of the ordinary.  I did notice that when he extends his hand for a handshake,  it is a little higher than it might be, but that is of no significance, of course.

At any rate,  I thoroughly enjoyed the man to my right who was engaging, intelligent, and multi-abled.   His warmth and personality definitely made up for his blindness, and he was an inspiration to behold!