Life Rule: At the Time, Not Later

Recently, I was commiserating with a friend over a trait we have in common---the tendency not to address something that bothers us, a hurt or offense, at the time it happens.  I said half jokingly that it should be a life rule that one has to deal with what bothers at the time, rather than a month or two later.  Now, I would add a codicil to that--or within a 24 hours grace period.  I realized even as I offered the advice to her that I needed to take my own advice.  And I did laughingly add that I needed to do that.

A loved one had hurt my feelings, and I had just 'let is slide'.   To "let it slide" always creates the possibility of also letting something fester, and brew, and grow it own tentacles, which can create other unhealthy behaviors.  I decided to address it, and did.  That is not, I might add, an easy thing to do!  But it is always, I believe, the better thing to do.

Of course, the reality is, we cannot read one anothers' minds, nor predict when something said might hurt someone else.   At least if we share our feelings, that might help avoid having it happen again.

I'm going to work on that.   Thinking about it a little bit makes me realize that the "hurt feeling" probably has to do with some other emotional issue rather than that which is happening at the moment.  The thing happening at the moment is just a trigger to something deeper, which is why emotions are so maddening!

Ah, us poor humans!  How very complex we are, with layers, and unpredictability.  That which gives us our humanity, also drives us nuts!