Competing

Last year I played doubles tennis in the Senior Games, a state level competition.   Both my partner and I have decided we are not going to repeat that experience this year.  And interestingly, we both had the same reason.  I so much enjoy playing women's doubles, or playing with Gerry, just for fun.   But the idea of competing with complete strangers is just too nerve-racking to really enjoy.  The truth is, I'd rather play for pleasure, than for victory.

The few times that Gerry and I played mixed doubles against formidable opponents, he gets so competitive, and wants to win, that it makes it hard for me to really enjoy, because I feel like I am holding him back from winning.

The truth is, I do have some physical limitations that make it unwise for me to really compete at an intense level, where I could badly hurt myself.

In reality, I suppose I was "competing" when I entered the Writing competition.  Winning that was perhaps my most gratifying competition in recent years.  But that was mostly about having one's talents recognized and affirmed by others.

I must admit, however, that quite a few shows that I watch on television are all about competing.  Dancing With the Stars.  American Idol.  The Biggest Loser.   So maybe the reality is that I don't mind watching competition;  I just don't want to do it!