Other People

It seems to be human nature for us to compare ourselves and our lives to that of other people.  Hopefully,  one can train themselves not to do that very much, but I do believe that to some degree it is inevitable.  That being said, I would comment that Gerry and I attended a funeral recently of a long time colleague of Gerry's, a faculty friend, even a long ago roommate.

The Memorial Service was quite extensive, with a number of speakers from the various areas of his life  (family, work, church).  The service was almost two hours long, filled with glowing accolades about the beloved "John", and what a great father, friend, husband, fellow Christian, etc. he always was.  Indeed, "John" was always personable, cheerful, happy.  The problem for us was that he seemed to be so perfect, his life seemed to be so perfect. Perfect marriage for fifty years,  three grown children all pursuing their doctorates. Lovely grandchildren.  He was a dedicated church member whose imprint was everywhere in the church. As a woods craftsman, he had even made the pulpit!   When one unavoidably compares their lives to "John's", most anyone would come up short.

In the car, Gerry was reminiscing about "John" and recalling a time when he smoked cigarettes.  I said, "Well, then he wasn't perfect!"  Gerry laughed and said:  "Everything you heard was post thirty years old.  He accepted the Lord when he was thirty.  I knew him in his twenties!"  Somehow, that was good to hear.

For me, as I reflected on the experience, I saw no signs of deep struggle or hardship.  (And I have had so many!) Is it really possible to live a life without those?  Perhaps.  But that is hard for me to imagine, as my own life has been riddled with disappointment, broken relationships, failure and endless struggle.  Of course, it has also always been marked by faith, love, compassion, optimism and perseverance.

I just read a line in a novel I just started that really spoke to me.  It speaks to me about my own imperfect life.
And I think it is true.  And there is just no way around it!

Wisdom must always be bought with pain.