Memorial Remembrances

Memorial weekend is about remembering those who have died in service to our country.  It is a day of parades, flags, patriotism.

In churches,  it is the tradition for Memorial Sunday to read the names of the members and friends of the church who have passed away during the past year.  That was the case today in the church I attend.  One of those whose name was read was William S. Whiting.  There is not enough room in this blog to list all his service to the church, and also to the community.  He was widely known, loved, and respected.

When I opened the hymnal to the second hymn of the day, I was stunned by what I saw.  The song, 'Eternal Father, Strong to Save' was written in 1860 by William Whiting!  My mind raced trying to figure out if that was intentionally chosen for the day, which seemed unlikely, given that the new associate pastor is in charge for today and the senior pastor is out of town.  I checked with the church secretary after the service, and no one had done that knowingly. And she had not noticed it.

My conclusion is that Mr. William Whiting, who is no longer with us in person,  found a unique way to be present today in spirit, on this Memorial Sunday, not only through the reading of his name, but through the writing our our hymn.  I can only describe that coincidence as a true moment of serendipity!

Restless Days

Don't get me wrong--I do relish my retirement!  It amazes me to be able to relax and feel contentment, without any sense of guilt, or need to accomplish.  There is a lot to be said for serenity, and enjoying the beauty and simplicity of life.

 But I will confess that from time to time I do have days of restlessness.  I don't like the restlessness,  but it does come occasionally, unbidden, an unwelcome, unwanted visitor!  If I had to analyze it,  I'd say it is mostly a feeling of wanting to have somewhere specific to go, something to do, some reason to get dressed up, and go out into the world.

This morning, in a happenstance conversation with an acquaintance in the grocery store,  I learned that a congregational church not far away, is being served by an Interim, who is not going to be there any longer.   My urge for a few moments was to call them, and see if they are looking for another Interim!  If I suddenly were to find myself in such a position, I'm sure that I would soon be longing  for my complete freedom to come and go as I wished, rather than being tied down.   I hope the day will come when I can experience feelings of restlessness, without the next thought being about serving a church.  That just seems to be my default position, that thing to which my mind first grasps, when I am restless and looking for something to do.

 Begone, restlessness!  Stop pacing at my door!
Take your agitation and leave it in someone else's mind.
You're not welcome any more.

Stuff

  Today I attempted to reduce the amount of stuff that is no longer of value.  There are assorted papers in closets, and in boxes downstairs.  A great deal of it is no longer relevant or necessary or current.  I did manage to make a decent pile of papers in the recycle bin.  Of course if they are financial papers, the social security number needs to be removed, so that makes the work tedious.

Since I am no longer actively in the ministry,  I feel like I should begin to whittle down the books and papers that are not likely to be used again.  There is quite a bit of stuff to eventually get rid of.  I suppose I'm not entirely ready to part with all of that just yet.

We also have a pile of things that need to go to the Salvation Army.  I managed to fill up a box with books (non-religious ones).  Also, I produced a decent pile of shoes that are not likely to be worn again.  As sad as it made me,  I had to add to the pile my yellow dressy low heeled shoes that I love.  I kept trying to add these inserts or those inserts, but no matter what I added to the inside of the shoe,   the shoes simply would not stay on my feet.  For some reason, they are a Wide, and I no longer can wear a Wide,  or perhaps never really did.

At any rate,  I made a small dent in getting rid of an assortment of things that are no longer needed or wanted.

I do believe that our piles of stuff are smaller than most people's,  but it still seems like a lot of unnecessary accumulation.

Or course, there is still a corner in the basement of youngest offspring's possessions.   She has a house now, and should take it to her basement.  But I doubt that will be happening any time soon.

As people get older,  one does wonder what will become of all their possessions.  These days, it seems to be the trend that one's children do not want many of their parents' things.  And I do understand that.   I will keep working on the piles of stuff over time, parting with this or that, as I feel able.

 Even though I will never use them, and will probably never even read them again,  I have a box of academic papers that I wrote during my seminary years.  So much effort and energy goes into that, it's hard to just put it in recycle.   But one thing is for sure--- someday, someone will have to!

In the meantime,  I am going to make as many of the decisions as I can about what to discard and what to keep.

Flower Beds

What I wish my Flower Bed looked like!

I recently asked Gerry to just leave the flower beds to me.  We have different goals and ideas about flower beds.  His idea is always mulch.   It needs mulch, mulch, and more mulch.   My idea is that it needs not to have mulch so it has some soil, and room to breathe without being smothered to death by harsh wood chips.

Since I have now assumed the responsibility, I am going to truly try hard to make weeding a daily activity.  That is what it takes.  In order to remotely have beds that do not turn into weed lots requires a lot of attention.  It does hurt my old aching body, I notice, to bend over and pull, but I'm going to give it my best shot!

Yesterday, Priscilla gave me some dahlias bulbs to plant.  I've never ever grown a dahlia before.  That's because I heard that you have to dig the bulbs up and bring them inside for the winter.  That has always been beyond the pale of my gardening desires.  But the bulbs are now planted, so I will hope to see lovely flowers, and to see if they will survive sleeping in the ground for the winter.

I wanted to plant some annuals this year, but actually there is no room in my flower beds to do that, so instead, I am going to make a vow to weed.  There is yet the vegetable garden to plant;  haven't even thought much about that yet.

I can just hear Gerry's remark a few weeks from now.

 'It needs some mulch!'

Two Events

This has been a very full day for us, as we have been celebrating two major occasions in our lives.  We attended the 180th anniversary for the Dryden UMC.  It was amazing how many of the people are still there, who were there twenty five years ago!  Of course, we have all aged a bit!  I got to remember some of our major life events during the decade we were part of that congregation:  our wedding, confirmation, baptism, worship services, talent shows, fellowship dinners, Christmas caroling, and on and on the list goes.  It was also the church out of which I entered the ministry in 1989.  There was a lovely luncheon following the service.  All in all, it was a very pleasant time.

This afternoon, my granddaughter celebrated her sweet sixteen birthday with a lot of her teen-age friends, and an equal number of family members.   There were five little girls there, between six and two years old, all related to the birthday girl.

There was food and cake and ice cream of course.  The 'down side' of social celebrations is that there is too much good food.   Zandrea's mom made a lovely cake in the shape of a guitar for her musical daughter.



 It's been a two event, two dessert day, a very rare occasion for us.   I am full, both in my tummy, and in my heart!

End Times

During my lifetime, every twenty years or so, and in every generation since the resurrection, someone has identified the date of the "end of the world".

The one predicted for tomorrow by Harold Camping, as I understand it,  involves a 'rapture' (the instantaneous collection of all believers) followed by a destruction of the world.

I did read a number of the Christian response articles and found exactly what I usually find in all matters of eschatology (end times). Here are just some of the terms associated with end time prophecies, some of which have a real scriptural basis. In addition, an end times culture and language of its own has also developed, some of which has no biblical basis whatsoever.  Here are a few terms:

  The Final Judgment, Day of Judgement, Judgement Day, Tribulation, Pre-tribulation,  Anti-Christ,  Christ's return, the one thousand year reign,  the rapture,  eternal judgment,  numerology,  pre-millenialist, post- millenialists, and so forth.

Apparently, many believers do think that we are living close to the time of Christ's return.  Do I think so?  Truthfully, I have no idea.  End times theology has never been of much interest to me.  And  honestly, I have very conflicted feelings over the two different aspects of the 'end times'.   While I would love to see that reign of Christ and peace on earth become a reality, I cannot rejoice in the destruction of all the rest that seems to go with it. Therefore, I am ambivalent about end times and related prophesy.(I have often wondered whether or not God might also be ambivalent, as it is God's own creation).

If tomorrow is the day,  I am ready.  I say that because I believe that as one who has "received Christ",  I am already living in life eternal.  I already have the peace of Christ.  That being the case, all predictions are irrelevant!

Church Anniversary

This coming Sunday, my original home church, (at least the first one in New York) is celebrating its 160th anniversary and I was invited to participate.  All the previous pastors who have served that church, as well as the ones who have gone into the ministry out of that church were invited.  I fall into the latter category.  I will make a few remarks during the "remembrance" time frame.

My remembrances are mostly all about special events in my life, and the lives of my family members during the decade we attended there.  {It is where Gerry and I got married, for example} Whenever one reflects on their years at a particular church,  the history is generally experienced in blocks of time associated with the pastors. While it is not something I can say much about publicly,  the pastor who was there very briefly had an interesting  effect on me.  By the time he came, I was very involved in the church,  wholly dedicated to my faith,  fully committed.   Along came this preacher who was deeply troubled,  clinically depressed, and preaching the gospel of depraved humanity in a dark, dreary,  grim and hopeless world.
My reaction was:   This is the good news? ?  I can do better than that!  That visceral response surely played some part in propelling me into the ministry several years later.

 When people remember the years of my pastorates,  I trust that the memories will be good ones.  I hope they will recall an enthusiastic message of hope and forgiveness, as well as good times of creativity and prosperity,  love and laughter.  May it be so!

China Theme

This year's overall theme for the Ladies of Ladies Lit has been China.  Today marked the final two presentations for the program year.  There will be a different theme beginning in September.  The individual presentations have certainly been fascinating, from a focus on apparel, to the government, to the Great Wall, to missionary movements, to Confucianism, Chinese music, weddings, and so forth.

One of today's two presentations was on the one-child policy, and was entitled The Lost Daughters of China.  It was sad, unbearable, enlightening, terrible to hear.  Girls have no value whatsoever to the family since all family lineage is tied to the male. The conditions in the orphanages are deplorable. Since the availability of  the sonogram, ninety eight percent of all terminated pregnancies are female. Government forced sterilization is commonly practiced.

I must say that I certainly know more about China than I did when this program year began. I also am reminded of the great privileges associated with being democratic and free.   Nevertheless, I am extremely glad that the topic is behind us!

A number of the women presenting had actually traveled there.  Was I inspired to do so?  No thank you!!

Sometimes Uninspired

My blogging seems to be running in spells these days.   I may get a spurt of inspiration and blog every day.  Or, I might go a week without publishing any blog at all.  A really lovely friend of mine gets worried about me when she doesn't find any blog posts. Eventually, I get an email from her, checking to see if I am okay.  It's nice to be missed!   For her sake, and any others who might wonder,  do not worry if you find no new blogs.  I do get dry spells.   The river runs dry.

On the other hand, I sometimes get great bursts of intense creativity, surprising even myself.  A month or so ago, I wrote a lovely poem for my blog  (Nature Knows), and thought it was so good, I sent it off to a poetry contest I found on line.  A few weeks later, I got a letter of congratulations saying that my poem was selected for the semi-finals.

My blog is my primary writing outlet.  But some days, I am much more into reading than writing  (or cooking, playing tennis, visiting, watching tv).  I may simply be completely uninspired.  That is my confession for the day for all the world to hear.

I await my muse. May she come again!

Ensemble Cast

It is that time of year when the networks are showing the season finales.   When I was thinking about the kind of shows that Gerry likes to watch, and the kind of shows that I like to watch,  I realized that my favorites have a strong "ensemble cast".   His shows may also have an ensemble cast, such as NCIS, or CSI  but the drama of the episode is primarily about solving the mystery or the crime or the problem, and only secondarily based on the relationships of the cast members themselves.   My favorite shows tend to be primarily about the relationships among the members of the ensemble cast, and the medical issue or surgery, or external problem is secondary to the relationships.

One of my favorites, Brothers and Sisters, not only had their season finale recently, but also the series finale.  That particular show was all about the dynamic going on between and among the main characters in the story, the family members.  Faithful fans have to say goodbye to the Walker family.

As much of a fan as I have been,  even I think it is probably time to let them go.  As interesting and lovable as they all have been, never has there been a more dysfunctional family, with an overbearing and interfering mother, siblings with no boundaries,  and the whole lot of them being over-involved in one another's lives.

When I reflected on all of this, I wondered whether or not we select our favorite TV shows along gender lines.   I do have female friends who are big fans of NCIS, though, so maybe that does not hold up.

Often in life, however, it is true that women are interested in relationships and men are interested in cars or sports.  I only just recently realized that my favorite television dramas are all about the ensemble cast and their interpersonal interactions.

I do think all of this is somehow related to the fact that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

Late Bloomers

All my other daffodils and tulips have long ago finished their blooming period and are now long gone.  I discovered these late yesterday afternoon, in the corner garden, which is not easily seen without walking around the yard.

A dear friend gave me these bulbs a year or two ago.  I can tell they are her bulbs, because they are different from all the others that I planted, which have already bloomed.

There are a couple of observations I might make from these flowers.  Sometimes we are late bloomers.  I think that is true of both this friend and of me.  We 'came into our own' much later than most people might,  in both spiritual and emotional maturity, I think

Sometimes wonderful things can happen later than expected,  or they are not immediately obvious, or they surprise you.   And they have a special attraction when they are different.

Spring has come at last.  Every year I am once again surprised at its colors and hues, sounds and sights.  It is worth the wait, even though this year that wait seemed especially long.

Annoying Question

As I sat in church on Sunday, it was one of those rare times when that 'annoying question' kept popping into my mind.  'Why aren't you leading worship?'  'Isn't it time that you got back in the pulpit again?'   In one form or another,  that question has always been present as I have gone through the process  of adjusting to retirement and reinventing my life. I did wonder, at first:  Can I really be happy not being at pastor at all?

The only action I could take, if I so chose, would be to let my district superintendent know that I might be interested in a part time appointment, if there happened to be one available in my general area. There are parts of that which I would really enjoy.  But for me (I don't know about everyone else),  it is an all consuming activity, position, obligation.  It is not something I am able to do 'part way'.  Pretty soon, the expectations of the role would take over my life. (most of those expectations are internally driven)  That would mean that I could no longer enjoy many of the leisurely activities to which I have grown accustomed.  Lunch with friends.  Reading books.  Playing tennis.  Visiting children and grandchildren. Sleeping late.

So even though I have made huge strides and great progress in being able to enjoy retirement,  occasionally I feel like I should be using my gifts and talents for the Lord's work.  But despite that occasional annoying question,    I am convinced that unless I am ready to give my whole heart completely to that task,  I probably should not undertake it!

I greatly value being able to relax, something I am doing, truly for the first time in my life. I do trust that also has God's blessing.

Tabletopics

I received a lovely package in the mail today from youngest daughter V, with an assortment of gifts inside.  One was a unique clear cube with cards in a box.  They are "tabletopics",  or interesting questions for dinner table conversation.  I read one of them, and at first, had no idea how to answer it.  The question was:

Had you rather meet your great great grandparents, or your great great grandchildren?

After pondering that question for quite a while, with no answer, it dawned on me.  I might have many more great great grandchildren than great great grandparents!   If I am figuring this right,  at most there would be sixteen great great grandparents, right?   But quite possibly, there might be as many as forty eight or more great great grandchildren.   Assuming that this "meet" is a one time event,  I have decided that it would be much more interesting to just see how many great great grandchildren there might be out there in the future.

I cannot quite visualize the future that far out.  Would it be around 2060?  Imagine the technological gadgets the great great grandchildren would be using.

Already we have cars that talk to you and tell you where to go.  Maybe by then, cars will drive themselves?  I wonder if the great great grandchildren will still need to take the driver's test?  Maybe I could ask them about that.

Motherhood

It's all about sleepless nights, having to repeatedly go to the bathroom;
the getting up is just preparation for what is to come.
Staring endlessly into the new and innocent eyes of the one you love, bonding.
Then the crying, eating, needing.  Your body is not your own for a while;  it's up for grabs.

A steady stream of diapers, meals, baths, the days a blur. Deep exhaustion.
You think it will be like this forever.  Rubber duck, rubber ball, rubber boots. Crawl, stand, walk, talk.
They finally go to the bathroom on their own, and you clap and cheer, as if they have won gold, and they have, too!  Silly little things you do.

Before you know it, the years fly by.
You try to get them to share, or stick up for themselves, stop fighting, keep trying.
Tricycle, bicycle, scrapes and wounds. Laughing and crying.
Reading and teaching.  Praying and loving. Homework, buses, sports, cheering.
Christmas trees and report cards.  Birthday parties.
 Hormones that rage, slamming doors, coming of age.
In the blink of an eye, they drive, date. You worry, pray. Stay up late.

You want them to find their gifts, respect themselves, stay safe.
Find their way.  The years fly by. Before you know it, they graduate,
and dare to leave. On their own.  Fledgling. Empty nest.
It doesn't matter how old they get.  You still worry, pray, fret.
Because they get hurt, disappointed, brokenhearted, married, give birth.
All the while, sleepless nights.

  

Bridal Fashion

This afternoon I attended a most delightful event:  A Century of Bridal Fashion.  This was a very unique experience for me, never having seen such a show.  It was a fund raising event by the local Historical Society, which did a phenomenal job.

 There were forty gowns modeled, and the weddings took place from 1871 to 1997!  The Mistress of Ceremony introduced each dress, giving details about that particular wedding, and also constantly sharing with the audience wedding traditions from around the world, and their significance.

For example, at one local wedding, the father bent down to retrieve some greenery off of the bride's long train.  When he bent, his pants split.   As the bride and father walked down the aisle, they were giggling and laughing.  No one else knew what had happened because his long tails covered up the gaping hole.

I learned that the bridal veil comes from the time of arranged marriages.  The groom was not allowed to see the bride's face until right before the vows, fearing that he might refuse the arrangement  The father would lift the veil and the groom would see his future bride's face for the first time.  In more modern times, the veil may flow from a pillbox hat.  One was modeled and the creator of the pillbox confessed that she had used fabric from her wedding gown to cover an oatmeal box top!   I asked if the one modeled was the same oatmeal box top and it is!

I found the history of the floral bouquet to be especially interesting.   Originally, these were carried containing strong smelling herbs.  The belief was that the odor would ward off the evil spirits, or cover up smells from any who might not bathe very often.

We learned that white dresses were not really customary until the 1950's.  Prior to the more prosperous time, a bride's dress might be red or brown or navy blue.  It would likely be used again and again.  Only in the last half of the twentieth century were bridal gowns purchased and used only once.

Many of the models who wore the dresses in this program were the grand-daughters or great grand-daughters of the women who had originally worn them.  One dress was actually made from a parachute.  I got to touch the fabric, which was as light as a feather.

It was especially meaningful to know some of the brides who wore the gowns.   As a new resident,  I knew only a few.  For many,  most of the names of the bridal families would have been familiar.   I watched the face of the pianist who was accompanying the models.   When her own mother's nurse's uniform from World War 2 was modeled on that stage, I am sure that I saw tears well up in her eyes.

What an entertaining occasion.  I am so glad that I went.   I can't help but wonder whether the planners chose the date intentionally.  This is the weekend of the most watched wedding in all of human history---that of William and Catherine,  Duke and Dutchess of Cambridge, heirs to the British crown.

Partners

Gerry and I played tennis doubles yesterday with 'Sam' and 'Joan'.  The weather predictions were for sixty five and sunny,  though that was not the case at mid morning.  When we left for the courts, it was a brisk forty seven degrees, and the sun was behind a cloud.  Sam and Joan are probably the best tennis players in our town.  They were playing extremely well today, and Gerry and I were not.   Gerry is the stronger player of the two of us, though he was also making mistakes and missing their shots.  

If I believed I were the only one causing all that loss, I would probably never play doubles with those three again.  But today, even Gerry was no match for their outstanding play. Occasionally, he even ducked to protect himself.   Sam is especially vicious with those fast and furious balls that often come as cross-court slices that twist and reverse.  My best strategy is simply not to care because there’s little I can do about it anyway.  To tell you the truth, just not getting mad is quite an accomplishment.  Sam has an annoying spin, and when he uses it to its full advantage,  the ball comes toward you, hits the court and then takes off at a right degree angle.  Even though he doesn’t really have any mercy, Sam gloated almost apologetically at one point,  “The court had a soft spot in it.”  I shot back,  “Well, your heart certainly doesn’t.”

Sam likes to tease and make wisecracks.  I’m not very good at that, and never really have any good comebacks.   When we were all agreeing to play again on Thursday, he tried to agitate Gerry by saying directly to me,  “Do you think you can find a partner?”   I assured him that I have a partner.   For better or worse.  When it comes to tennis, it is much harder for Gerry to put up with me than it is for me to put up with Ed.