Annoying Question

As I sat in church on Sunday, it was one of those rare times when that 'annoying question' kept popping into my mind.  'Why aren't you leading worship?'  'Isn't it time that you got back in the pulpit again?'   In one form or another,  that question has always been present as I have gone through the process  of adjusting to retirement and reinventing my life. I did wonder, at first:  Can I really be happy not being at pastor at all?

The only action I could take, if I so chose, would be to let my district superintendent know that I might be interested in a part time appointment, if there happened to be one available in my general area. There are parts of that which I would really enjoy.  But for me (I don't know about everyone else),  it is an all consuming activity, position, obligation.  It is not something I am able to do 'part way'.  Pretty soon, the expectations of the role would take over my life. (most of those expectations are internally driven)  That would mean that I could no longer enjoy many of the leisurely activities to which I have grown accustomed.  Lunch with friends.  Reading books.  Playing tennis.  Visiting children and grandchildren. Sleeping late.

So even though I have made huge strides and great progress in being able to enjoy retirement,  occasionally I feel like I should be using my gifts and talents for the Lord's work.  But despite that occasional annoying question,    I am convinced that unless I am ready to give my whole heart completely to that task,  I probably should not undertake it!

I greatly value being able to relax, something I am doing, truly for the first time in my life. I do trust that also has God's blessing.