Contrary Visions

When I retired,  I had a specific vision of what I wanted my life to be like.  I had spent too many years driven, restless, highly stressed. Probably the shortest description of what I wanted for my later life:  peace and serenity.  And getting from there to here has been a significant adjustment, to say the least.  But I can happily report that I am ninety five percent where I want to be, toward that vision. I spend the vast majority of my time with family and friends, socializing and enjoying, being healthy.

There was another thing I envisioned for my retirement, and that was to write a novel, which I had always wanted to do, planned to do.  I spent a year or so doing just that, making an intentional decision that I would not look into the publication side of the business until I had something I wanted to publish.  So, in 2009, I attended a Writer's Conference in NYC to find out all about the publishing business.   Sadly, all that I found out made me not want to pursue it.  By the time I went, I had already discovered that Publishing Companies do not read manuscripts.  One has to have an agent to represent you as a writer.  What became crystal clear is that agents do not really want to represent unpublished writers. Only a very small percentage will bother.  I learned from the Writer's Conference that one has to "get established" as a writer, become known, establish your reputation, enter contests, win awards, etc.  The presenters said that may take five to ten years.  Once fully recognized, then you may attract an agent.  Also, agents want writers at the beginning of their lives and careers, to optimize their own profit.

As a person who was/is sixty plus,  going that route did not make any sense to me at all.   Since I wanted very much to enjoy my life, reduce my stress,  trying to start up a new career was simply not where I was in my heart and soul.

When I was pondering that this morning, I realized that the problem was simple:  I had two conflicting visions for my life, and had to choose.

At the beginning of 2011, I did win a writing award, so now I am an established writer in my own community!

As far as my manuscript goes,  now the only thought I have about it is that perhaps some day a great-granddaughter may grow up to be a literary agent, and happen upon it!

And so I put that thought out into the universe!