Going First

There have been so many times in my life when I could have, even should have, volunteered to go first.  But I never did.  I didn't want to go first because that seemed too bold for me, too over-confident, cocky. I would often volunteer to go second, but never first.  Until now.

At the gathering picnic meeting of the Ladies Lit,  the lady who had signed up to give her paper first, stood in great trepidation, admitting that she had signed up and paid for a trip, not realizing it conflicted with the date she was to give her paper. She felt soooo badly, you could tell, and the first paper was to be given in two weeks.  Sometimes people do not have their papers ready until the last minute.  I, of course, have mine ready months in advance!    So I volunteered to switch dates with her.  She was so very relieved.  I felt good when she mentioned to me in the lunch line that this would probably be her husband's last trip (presumably due to health concerns).

So now I will be presenting the very first paper of the year.  These are not insignificant.  They are twenty minutes long, ten pages, research on a topic, and presented to a group of approximately twenty five women.   The good part about going first is that I will have it behind me and not have to wait in anxiety all year!  The other side is---it is an unusual topic this year, and hearing no other papers first, I will not know exactly how this should be approached.  For better or worse, I guess I will be setting the standard.

As far as life patterns go,  I am proud of myself for breaking out of my old pattern,  and being willing to be the first one!