Not Publishing

 A friend recently read my blog about not publishing my book (novel), and suggested e-publishing.  I 'asked Google' about that last night and learned quite a bit about the process.  There are multiple "electronic publishers" out there, from Barnes and Nobles, to Lulu, to Amazon.    They serve as the "holder" of the book  (store), but one still has to sell their book,  have a marketing strategy,  get the word out. [They suggest standing on street corners handing out flyers.]

I immediately decided that would not work for me. Of course, I had to take a good hard look and figure out why I would immediately throw up that "stopper".  I think there are multiple reasons, some more complex than others.

First, I felt that most of the people I might want to tell about my book being in the "store" are not really all that computer proficient.  I have one friend with a Kendle reader, but I don't think that many of my generation and acquaintances are into that.  To purchase a book on-line, one has to download it to an electronic device, such as a reader or an iPad.

Second,  I discovered that I am much too shy to "promote" myself.  This has always been true, even when that promotion would definitely be expected and beneficial.  That no doubt comes from my childhood,  where one was never expected to build themselves up, think too highly of themselves, or think you are better than anyone else.  (I wonder now if perhaps that mostly applied to women?)


The more complicated reason has to do with the book itself.  It has some really dark sections.  It has sexual content.  It is just not like me at all!  At least, not like the upbeat and cheerful (and the pastorly image) I like to convey.   Of course, when I wrote the book,  I had intended that it be entirely secular (thinking that as a retired person I would have removed all the clergy constraints].   In reality,  it has much spiritual, biblical, and religious content--so much so that I seriously doubt it would appeal to any 'mass market'.

I really do believe that it is a well written book of women's literary fiction.  Perhaps the hang-up is that I find it hard to promote, because its content is contrary to my self-image.  All of this is true, plus more that I am choosing not to reveal here.

But maybe, just maybe, the bottom line is that I cannot handle the rejection.