Best Gifts Ever

I thought they might really appreciate their 'special gifts',  but I could not have predicted what a hit they would actually be.

During the fall months, I spent a great deal of time going through all the pictures I have,  in old photo albums,  in the cedar chest, wherever---and labeling the pictures with the year and location, and then I went about the task of assembling a "birth-to-adulthood" photo album with pictures specific to each daughter.   Each album had 100 pictures.   I thought their spouses and offspring might also enjoy the pictures of them as toddlers and teens.

I announced that I wanted to give them all this particular gift at the same time.   So I handed each one a beautiful box with the album inside.  Suddenly a silence fell as they began to look at the picture in their album.    I noticed immediately that the husbands were equally as interested.   After a while, they began to show each other pictures from their albums.  In each there were group pictures with siblings;  pictures of their parents, their room,  their friends and relatives, their teen sports and activities, things unique to each life.  There were many ooos and ahhs and even a few tears.

It was a wonderful  Christmas day filled with lots of good food, fun, sharing, laughter, gifts and family!

Michelle and Pedro

Winter Survival Test

I am not much of a winter person.  The sum total of my usual winter experience is the distance in the garage from my car to the back door,  or from my car to the grocery store entrance.

Because I live fairly close to the grocery store, I always figured that in a dire emergency,  I could always walk there.

Today is our first day of real winter, and it has come with a vengeance.  I decided, just for the experience, that I would test my ability to actually walk to the store.   I put on the best of my winter stuff,  though I am not very accustomed to dressing for frigid temps.   I wore leggings, and then the kind of athletic pants with zippers and elastic at the ankle, for ease of getting boots on and off.  I put on my down coat and headed out into the driveway.  The drifts were two feet deep in spots.  The first thing I noticed was how bright it was with all that snow.  I decided that I needed sunglasses, and probably a hat with a visor.  I went back in to get those.  Then I tried again, but realized that I would also need my best ear-muffs, and thickest gloves and a scarf.   So out I went. Half way across the driveway, I realized that I had to go to the bathroom, so back in I went.  It took three tries for me to get across the driveway,  but I was glad I had taken the time to prepare.   At first, I had images of me as a snow bunny.  But by the time I headed off,  I felt more like the Goodyear blimp.   Then I realized this was not a beauty contest, but a test of survival.

 The winds were whipping and roaring at thirty miles per hour and the snow was blowing.   Off I headed to the grocery store and to my winter adventure (it is less than a mile).  Truth be told, I was not comfortable driving, as I was sure I would probably not be able to make it back up the hill to my house.  Soon I discovered that those winds were whipping mightily in my face and I had to hold my scarf over my face to keep from getting wind burn.  That, of course, caused my glasses to steam over, and I could not see.  But on I trudged.

When I actually got to the grocery store and began to take off some of my winter garb, I realized that I certainly hoped I would not encounter anyone I knew!   I purchased my one item, and headed back out.   I did worry about the cars going up and down the road, whether or not one might slide and hit me into the guard rail.  My only out would be to jump it, if I were fast enough.   Going up the hill, I encountered a snow plow coming down.   Seeing me,  he took a turn off.  I'm glad, or I would have been buried there beside the road.

The last few yards to my house were actually the most treacherous, as they had just been plowed and were very slick.   I slipped a few times, but did not fall, thankfully.

This was absolutely a test of my own abilities against the dangers of winter.  I am happy to report that I lived to tell the story!

Remembering Some Ministry Moments

I just started reading a novel, and the opening scene was a clergyman's visit to a dying woman.   The scene of being called to the deathbed of someone not likely to live very long brought back a couple of memories.  Whenever I recall these moments,  I do heartily laugh at myself,  because those moments never seemed to turn out the way I expected.

Truth be told,  despite being called into those circumstances,  I have never actually been present at the moment of death.   Believe me, I take the matter of death very very seriously, and always treated such matters with the greatest respect.

But for some reason,  my near-to-death experiences were, well........unexpected might be a good word.

A nearby nursing home called me at the parsonage to say that my parishioner, who was elderly and had been sick for a long time, was clearly not going to make it through the night.   Of course, I wanted to be there.   I went to sit with the dying person. At that time, I was not really experienced in those matters.  Of course, I said the Lord's Prayer and the 23rd Psalm.    After holding his hand, and praying, and reading some scripture, I didn't really know what I was supposed to do, nor what to expect.

After some time passed,  I began to get a little bored with myself.  So I started singing.  I am told by my daughter in particular that I am not a good singer.  I know that I'm not great, but I don't really think I'm all that bad.   And I thought that singing someone into heaven might just be a good thing to do. The heavenly angels surely would not mind my lack of singing talent.     I don't remember if it was my first song, or if I had been singing for a while.  But I sat next to the bed and sang.  I watched for signs that the elderly man was no longer breathing.

Then suddenly,  he opened his eyes and started talking, wondering where he was.   I just about jumped out of my skin, so startled was I!  He woke up.  And on top of that, he completely recovered from his near-death-illness, whatever it had been.  In fact,  as I recall, he lived for a number of years after that.

The same thing happened to me one other time as well....same circumstances.  Next time, it was a woman over ninety.  She would not make it through the night.   I went and did everything I could think to do.   She also lived for about five or six more years.

After that,  I hoped that no one would call on me for last rites,  because clearly I was a dismal failure at that!

Nor would I ever again dare to sing to anyone near death's door!

The Movie Lincoln

I wanted to see the movie Lincoln.  The reviews were good, and I was curious.   It is an Oscar contender.

I'm not sure exactly what I expected, but I was surprised by the main focus of the movie, which was the political maneuvering necessary to pass the thirteenth amendment to the constitution, to end slavery.

Of course, human interest stories, and personal relationships were brilliantly woven into the main story line.  But the main story line was clearly about Lincoln's immense political struggle to pass that law.

Since it was about the struggle between two parties, on opposite sides of a political issue, it certainly felt very timely and relevant.  I seem to remember hearing that the release of the movie was postponed until after the election, and now I can see why that would be the case.

On the way home I began to wonder who took over after Lincoln's assassination.  Of course I did not remember.  The answer is Andrew Johnson, who finished Lincoln's second term, but was not re-elected.   When I looked it up in my book on the presidents,  I was surprised to learn that on the same night as the assassination, that the Secretary of State Seward was also the victim of an assassination attempt.   An assailant entered his home and attacked him with a knife.  Both his wife and daughter witnessed the attack, and both died within months, at least partly from the trauma of that event.  Seward himself recovered.  There were many historical details that came to light in the movie, of which I was unfamiliar.  

Growing up in the South I can observe that being the "defeated" has never really left the psyche of many southerners.   Even today the rebel flag is displayed proudly as a sign of a proud "way of life."

To my way of thinking it is a symbol of slavery and that is scarcely a way of life to defend.  

Biblical Characters

        An interest of mine has always been 'bringing the biblical story to life'.  Over the course of the years of my ministry,  I used drama in a variety of ways, finally settling on 'biblical monologue' because it was so much easier to recruit (and direct) one person, than to direct a whole cast (though I did that too).

       I realized earlier this year that I have acquired over the years, quite a collection of monologues of various characters from the biblical narrative.  It occurred to me that it might be a good idea to collect them all into one place.   I spent a month or so doing that, and putting together all the monologues into a spiral bound booklet.  I thought that maybe if I had a collection assembled  I might be in a better position to continue that ministry in a new way, since I am no longer the worship leader.

    I gave a copy of that booklet to the new pastor and asked him to look at them and see if he would be willing to include a monologue from time to time.  After reading them, he indicated that he thought I have a special gift in this area.    He suggested that we have the characters appear as 'special guests' for the children's message.  We are now into a pattern of doing one each month, as long as a particular person can be connected to the worship theme for that day.   So far, so good.

   Yesterday, the second Sunday of Advent, focused on John the Baptist.  I had asked a particular man from the congregation to do the monologue.  He is an especially talented actor who performs at the local Center for the Performing Arts, and also directs.   I thought that perhaps he might memorize the script, which he did.     He did just a superb job of portraying the character of John the Baptist.

   For me, it was a unique experience.  I got an inkling of how it might feel for a playwright to see her work performed on stage.

Clearly, the congregation enjoyed it as well, as they could scarcely contain their robust applause,  though applause is usually not expected during worship.

   And I am quite sure,  because of the quality of that portrayal,  that the children will always remember meeting John the Baptist and hearing his story in person, ( complete with tunic and sandals and staff).

Christmas Party

Last night I attended my first Christmas party of the season.  It was the holiday party of the Ladies Literary Club.

  The entertainment was a professional opera singer.   I would have to say that normally,  I would not classify myself as an opera fan.  Of course,  I have never seen one up close and personal,  since I'm not a fan of that genre of music.  However,  this was a very different experience.  I happened to be sitting about a dozen feet away from the singer.   I acquired a new appreciation for the sound,  because I was close enough to see the discipline,  the talent, the control, and the range of the singer.   It was obvious that she had extensive training and brought her sound from somewhere deep within.   I, who cannot sing, will readily admit that when I do sing,  I am probably only singing in the top 15% or so of my chest and lungs, and know not how to tap into the diaphragm.  I did very much admire her poise and control.

Her selections were classical Christmas songs.  We also had some group singing of Christmas carols.  One of the club member's husband is blind.  I did happen to hear his wonderful voice joyfully ringing out in song.  It was a lovely sight to see and hear.  Clearly he knew the words by heart, and loved to sing.

The dinner, the conversation, and the setting were all excellent.  The caterer has recently completely the renovations of a lovely old historical building known as Briggs Hall, complete with a spiral staircase.

It was a lovely evening which we both enjoyed.   Gerry even got to talk about agriculture and skiing with guests more knowledgeable (and probably more interested) than I.

Belated Thanksgiving Birthday

Getting ready to host a "make-up" Thanksgiving Dinner, as well as a grand-daughter's birthday celebration.

 The table is set for 13, our largest number to date.   If and when it increases, we'll have to move out of the dining room space into another space to add a table for more people.

Grand-daughter E turns six years old.  First we ate dinner;  then we opened presents (some for E and some for the other little ones too).  After that, we had a treasure hunt where everyone had to work together to interpret the clues and find the next clue, until they found the hidden treasure.  It was great fun.  They of course want another one next time.  ( Truthfully, it did take forever to create!!). Example:   To find the next clue, you have to be extra sharp!

After the gifts and the treasure hunt, there was dessert----several kinds, from birthday cake and ice cream, to cheese cake, to pumpkin pie.   I think we probably won't eat, or at least I won't have to cook for several days!

Here are some photos of making family  memories.

Next clue found:  inside the drawer of the pencil sharpener!

Ten Turkey Day

Our family Thanksgiving will happen next weekend, due to conflicts and scheduling issues.  Since Thanksgiving is a day to be shared, we did not want to stay home alone today.  Therefore, we signed up as volunteers to work in the kitchen at the Cortland United Methodist Church.

We have had the experience before of volunteering, where there was not really much work to be done.  That was not the case for Gerry and for me today.  We got assigned to a very important task!  Cutting, de-boning, pulling apart the turkeys!   All ten of them.   I guess we were so good at it that no one else got assigned to take over that particular job, so we had to keep at it until they were all done.  To be honest, by that time,  both of us had terrible back aches and pain from the lifting,  bending and standing in the same position.   I am still recovering!

I did see some folks I had not seen in a while, and got a big hug from a young woman whose wedding I conducted quite a few years ago. (that makes me a special person in her life, I could tell).  She was there with her daughter volunteering.  There were also people there from the community that we knew.  We got to eat our meal there, which we helped to prepare.

It was hard work.  Still it was infinitely better than staying home and watching the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

So many blessings.  I'm really glad to be able to de-bone ten turkeys!

Socialization

Conversation in the car today, on a long drive, led Gerry and I to an interesting discussion.  We were talking about going, or not going to some particular community event.    I made the observation:  "You are probably more likely to seek out groups of people than I am."

Of course, some of that can be accounted for because I am definitely an introvert and Gerry is an extrovert.  But he had another theory, harkening back to childhood.   Gerry grew up on a farm, that was quite a few miles out of town.  Therefore,  his existence was pretty isolated,   probably lonely sometimes, with not many people around.   He said it was exciting to go into town where there were lots of people.

My childhood experience was quite different from that!  My first reaction was:  I mostly had to be on display as the preacher's kid.  Growing up in the south back then, that came with a heavy dose of expectations.  You had to smile and shake hands;  you had to be pleasant;   you could not swear or spit.  You had to make a good impression.  Often, I had rather hide in the closet.     In fact, I once did exactly that!

One parish built us a new parsonage.  So, of course, it was always Open House.  Anyone who came for a visit would have to be shown the whole house.  If someone came, and I knew that my mother was going to be showing them around, and I was in my room,  rather than be on display and pleasant, I would hide in the closet!

I do really like people, but need far less socialization than Gerry seems to need.  That's why he goes into his office all the time, so he can hang out with his colleagues  (university/academics).  Then in the winter, he hangs out with the Geezer Skiers.

I really don't mind being at home, reading a book, cooking, doing laundry.  I get socialization several times a week,  but do not need it every day.

I wonder if our childhood experiences really have much influence on our patterns of socialization?

Ebenezer Orphan Home

A friend passed along a book, a quick read.  It is actually the reflections of two brothers who recall the years they spent at the Ebenezer Orphan Home in Flat Rock, Ohio.  True story.

Their mother died of tuberculosis when they were young.  There were five children. The father could not manage all that by himself.  The other three were placed in relatives' homes in or near Geneva, New York, but no place was found for the two boys, who were sent to Ohio to live in the Orphan Home.

It was a sad sad story, and I often found myself shaking my head in disbelief at the poor treatment of the children.  They had to work extremely hard, were punished very harshly, and never really had enough to eat.

One thing I did not really understand was why the children's shoes were taken away.  They had to go barefoot in the summer, and did not get their shoes back until winter came.  They were shoeless while they worked in the fields, shocking and stacking wheat, pitching hay, cutting corn--walking in the stubble---all while barefooted!

One image I think will always stick in my mind.

It got very very cold and the brothers still did not have any shoes.  They were working in the fields and it was bitterly cold.  The boys would wait for the cows to drop a plop.   Then they would stand in the cow plops because they were so warm.

Incredibly,  the brothers' conclusion, looking back, after a lifetime of living was:  "I don't think those six years did us any real harm.  And not one child died while we were there.  And that was remarkable because the doctor was a veterinarian!"

British Home Children

Today I heard a presentation about British Home Children.  It is, of course, a story I have never heard before,   being unaware of Canadian history.

 This is a true historical account of children being emigrated to Canada from Britain between 1870 and 1957.

100,000 British Home Children (alleged orphans) were sent to Canada by over 50 British Child Care organizations.  These 4-15 year old children worked as indentured farm laborers and domestic servants until they were 18 years old.  The organizations professed a dominant motive of providing these children with a better life than they would have had in Britain, but they had other motives.  These organizations profited when they sold these children to Canadian farmers.  Siblings in care in Britain were separated from their families and each other.  Siblings were separated from each other when they were sent to Canada.  Most never saw each other again.  Many spent their lives trying to identify their parents and find their siblings and most were unsuccessful.

  

There was a somewhat similar effort here in the United States when 200,000 orphaned and abandoned city children were distributed on the Orphan Trains to families in 45 states, also often used as farm laborers.  This movement took place between 1853 and 1947, run by the Children's Aid Society.   I can only hope they were not sold for profit, as the British Home Children were. I can find no evidence that that is the case.

On Canada's part,  this is a historical past that plays heavily into  the makeup of the population today.  The estimates are that at least ten percent of the Canadian population are descendants of  British Home Children.

At this point in time, there is also a BHC registry that helps these ancestors try to find their original family members.

This is one of those windows into the historical past that is very sad indeed!

Linemen Vote

 Recently, I had lunch with "Suzie".  Suzie is a candidate for ministry and I serve as her Mentor.  In the context of the conversation,  Suzie mentioned that she had not seen her husband in eleven days!   Then she went on to tell how he is a utility lineman and volunteered to go to NYC/Long Island to help out following Hurricane Sandy and her damage.

My first reaction was to thank her for all the work they are doing to restore power to people without  (which also included my own family for quite a while.)

Suzie learned from her husband that the thing that upset the men the most was the fact that they could not vote, as Election Day was soon approaching.  I admire what Suzie did, and am amazed that it was even possible, under the circumstances.  There were two different Board of Elections involved, both in the general area of Ithaca.  Suzie collected absentee ballots from both of the Election Boards, which  opened after hours in order to accommodate their need.  She drove the ballots to the city, gave them out, had the workers fill out the ballots and sign them.   The signatures were already on file at their polling places, but they needed to receive the the original absentee ballots with signatures to compare.  Suzie then brought them back--a trip down and back in a day, so all the volunteer linesmen could vote.   I appreciate so much the fact that ways were found for the affected people to vote in such extenuating circumstances.

My hat is off to Suzie, the Boards of Election, the linesmen.    Now that is ingenuity, and flexibility, not to mention dedication, and democracy, at its best.

God Bless America!

Animal Friendships

Last night I happened to watch a Nature show on television.  The subject matter focused on unlikely relationships among animals----even cross species.   There have so many "stories" of this kind, that some scientists are now doing research on "animal friendships."   Some are really astonishing---a lioness and a cayote, for instance.  Also, there was a tortoise and a duck.

One in particular really caught my attention.  It was the story of an old horse "Charley" and an old goat "Billy".

When I decided to blog about this,  I searched for a horse and goat picture, and "googled" horse/goat.   To my surprise,  there were a number of articles on the compatibility between these two animals.    Having identified this compatibility traces back thousands of years in Chinese culture.

The story I saw about Charley and Billy was about how Billy, the goat, became the guide for the blind horse, Charley.  It seemed to be a choice Billy made.  At first, Charley was blind in only one eye, and Billy led the horse to his favorite pasture on the side where Charley's good eye could follow.   Then, when Charley lost sight in both eyes,  Billy led in front.  Charley knew the sound of Billy's footsteps, from all other sounds.

I had an experience similar to this as a child.  I had a pet chicken named "Doodle".   She was free to wander about the yard.  One day a brown chicken appeared in our yard, and both of her eyes had been pecked out.  Doodle because her seeing-eye-chicken.  I saw that with my own eyes. The brown chicken followed close behind a cheeping Doodle who led the way.   Both of those chicken had no hen-house, and thus, no nest, so they would both lay their eggs wherever they were in the yard.   One learned to watch where you stepped!

I found the unlikely animal friendships downright moving!  A sweet motherly black lab "adopted" an abandoned baby fawn.  Their friendship lasted throughout their lives, even though the deer returned to the wild..  The grown up doe even brought her own babies back to meet her dear friend.

It was clear from these odd pairings that animals do have emotion;  they feel empathy;  they grieve.

I couldn't help but wish we could manage such caring relationships "across the aisle" between Democrats and Republicans.   Charlie and Billy give me hope!

Too Close, So Fortunate

I am posting this picture so family members (and friends) can see how scary it must have been for this tree to fall in front of V's house.   Hers is the second house, with the higher roof, in the middle of the picture.  The tree limbs blocked her front door.  She was there alone, as Matt, volunteer fireman, was at the fire hall.

So so grateful that it wasn't any worse!   Thank you Lord!

Trees Down

My daughter V's sister-in- law just posted 35 pictures walking around her neighborhood in Long Island.  The devastation is too hard to comprehend.   It appears that a large percentage of the large, mature trees could not hold on, and did not survive the fury of Sandy.

  The good news is that the people we love are unharmed,  though probably frazzled and frayed at the nerves!   Both V and Matt's house survived, as did Matt's parents.  Thank goodness for that!!

Still not much power there,  but Matt's office on Long Island has power, so they could charge up their various devices, smart phones, etc.   Daughter said she was going to the gym, because they had power.  So there must be pockets.

I'm sure the area will never look the same, and oh how long it will take to clean up!

She must have stopped by V's house.   This one made me smile, rather than cry!!  (though it may be too dark to really see.   Cooking by helmet on a gas stove.

Scarecrow

Youngest daughter said to me on the phone:  "Mom, would you make me a scarecrow?"

"I don't think I have any idea how to make a scarecrow,"  I answered.

"Well, you could figure it out.  You can make anything!"  she said.  (goading me)

So, I Googled it!  And sure enough, there was a video with step by step directions for making a scarecrow.  It seemed to me to be a huge project, including the need for a bale of hay!   Daughter V wanted it for her berry bushes, because the birds eat up her berries.  This is not a Halloween decoration.   She said there were probably other, less daunting ways to make a scarecrow. 

After sleeping on it, I envisioned how I might do such a challenging task.   I worked on it today, while waiting for family members to arrive for a visit.  They were delayed several times, so I just kept working.

So here she is, my first ever Scarecrow.  I'm not sure she looks very scary,  buy, hey, who knows, maybe the birds will be intimidated.

I'm actually quite proud of my creativity!

 

When I was working on it, it was stretched out on a long table.   I did tell Gerry not to be startled by the body in the basement!

Harvest Sunday

Almost every church of which I have been a part has celebrated some form of Harvest Sunday, when the chancel is decorated with flowers, fruits, vegetables.   At least visually,  I think it is my favorite Sunday.   It brings to mind abundance, God's creation,  thanksgiving.

Today was harvest Sunday where I worship.  There was a considerable bounty on display, with everything from huge sunflower seed heads, to potatoes, to corn stalks, to pumpkins, feathers, and chrysanthemums.

And as a benediction to that, we enjoyed the monthly fellowship meal with a whole range of choices in soups and sandwiches.

God is so good!

Jersey Boys

Without a doubt, the Jersey Boys show that we saw today was the very best musical theater I have ever seen.  And I have seen dozens and dozens of productions at various places over forty plus years.  This show reminded me of all the reasons I fell in love with musical theater to begin with.

It was clear from the audience reaction that I am not the only one who had such a positive reaction.  The crowd literally roared with approval.

For me, there are a variety of reasons why I would call it the very best.  Of course, I would have more appreciation for the music since much of it came from my era,  songs of the fifties and sixties.  It was delightful to actually know the words to many of the songs.  But the quality of the music could move one of any generation.  I have no doubt that it has and still does.

The production itself was done with a variety of multi-media elements.   The Jersey Boys were often on stage singing, and there was a Jersey Boys orchestra providing the music. Various other musical instruments and groups floated in and out of the stage setting.  A portion of the stage would become a large screen and video clips from the actual historical Four Seasons would appear.   The casting was so magnificent that when the historical clips appeared on screen,  I was absolutely convinced that it was a video of the current actors on stage!   Even the details of the height of the Four Seasons singers was considered in the casting.  The singer/actor who played the part of Frankie Valli sounded so much like Valli, that I could not believe my ears.  And what a unique sound that was!

Since the story was based on the true account of the Jersey Boys lives and musical careers,  it included much about their failed relationships, their loyalty, their flawed characters.  It was filled with tragedy and triumph, humor and pathos. It was fast-paced, highly entertaining, full of song and dance. I was never bored, even for a moment.

Another exceptional part of the experience was the Landmark Theater itself, a magnificent old grand movie palace.   It was built in 1928, functioning even during the silent film era.  Apparently, after many stages of renovation there was a re-opening event in 2011.

What a delight!  I am beyond words to describe how much I loved this show.
Thanks to the daughter who insisted I go!

Fall Foliage

A Trail in the Woods

We enjoyed a lovely leaf peeping journey to the Adirondacks yesterday.   We traveled to Old Forge and stopped along the way to view lovely sights, take pictures, eat lunch, hike Bald Mountain, and so forth.

We had intended to take the chair life excursion, but it was only open from Wednesday to Sunday, so that did not work out.

The colors were far more brilliant than seen in these pictures.  It was the peak there, and lovely indeed.

I am adding here a few more photos of the sights we enjoyed.

Maybe Fourth Lake

The Bald Mountain Climb

Near Chittenango Falls

A Baseball Movie

Usually,  Gerry and I do not love the same kinds of movies.  Therefore, if we go to the movies, which is rarely, we 'take turns',  an action movie for him, a chick flick for me.

But there is a new movie out right now that I thought just might work for both of us.  First and foremost,  it is a baseball movie,  but the tough old baseball guy (Clint Eastwood) also has a young beautiful daughter,  and the previews suggested a bit of romance for her in The Trouble With the Curve.

I'd have to say that it is a movie with several different layers, and several story lines to follow. The primary one is about the old baseball scout (Eastwood) and his problems with aging.  The young daughter (Amy Adams) is trying to become a partner in her law firm.  Friend of father calls daughter and convinces her to come and check on her Dad, who seems to have problems, namely that he can barely see, so it is difficult for him to really do his scouting job.  The father daughter duo spend several days together following games in North Carolina.

There's plenty of baseball stats and lingo and competition to satisfy the action-oriented husband.  There's a great deal of emotional material to satisfy the human-relation-oriented wife.

When we were commenting on the movie this morning,  husband mentioned how good it was that at the end of the movie there was redemption for the old man.  I agreed.  

Only later did I understand that we had a different perception about that redemption.  For said husband,  the old man proved his abilities at scouting, and turned out to be right.  The newer guys use computers and statistics  and databases to make the determination about who to hire.  The old guy still used his old-fashioned skills of seeing, hearing, listening, understanding.   Therein was his redemption.

The father-daughter relationship had always been rocky, as baseball scout father raised her alone, having lost his wife when she was six.  He did what he could to try to protect her (shipped her away).  She felt rejected instead.  At the end of the movie,  that impossible relationship underwent a transformation, as each one came to better understand the other.  And therein was the redemption.

So, not only do we like different kinds of movies,  but when we both see the same movie,  we have a different experience and interpretation.

Why does that not surprise me?

Rainbow Colors

I happened to notice out the living room windows that it was raining slightly,  but the sun was also shining.  That is typically a sign of a rainbow.   Not really expecting to find anything,  I opened the front door and saw the most vividly colored rainbow I think I have ever seen.  All the colors were pure and bright.

I'll take it as a sign of good things to come.

BLT

Yesterday, I harvested a couple of baskets of ripe tomatoes.  Some are peeled and frozen.   I've had many tomato creations, but no BLT's.

Yesterday when I went grocery shopping I bought bacon specifically to make myself a BLT for lunch today.

So I sliced my tomato, got out my bread rounds, and cooked the bacon in the microwave oven.

While the bacon was cooking, I decided that the tomatoes needed some salt and pepper.  I was closer to the spice roll around cabinet than I was to the table, where one can also find salt and pepper.  Instead, I reached into the spice cabinet and first poured on some salt.   After that, I reached for the pepper and added that.

Soon the bacon was done and I put that on top of the tomatoes.  I took a bite.  I have never tasted such an awful BLT in my whole life!  It was truly terrible.

I thought there was a taste in there that was vaguely familiar.  I opened it and smelled.   I had mistaken the pepper for the Allspice.   Their can shapes and colors are similar.   Obviously, I did not look carefully at the box, which is not at eye level.

If you ever want to completely spoil a BLT, that's a sure way to do it.  Yuk!

Two Anniversaries, Same Date

On this day thirty years ago, Gerry and I got married.   September 11, 1982.   It was a very monumental day in our lives,  the beginning of a 'new world' for us.  That anniversary came first.

On this day eleven years ago,  the world also changed with the September 11, 2001 attacks.   I remember that day vividly, of course, as most Americans do.  The question we ask ourselves, or one another:  Where were you on September 11th?

What I remember most is how the mind could not really process the images and what those meant.   Eventually, over the course of the next few days and weeks,  we began to hear the stories and could see what it meant to thousands of loved ones who had lost their beloved on that awful day.   We began to learn the source of the attack, and who was responsible.

A movie that I saw this year, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close,  brought home in a new way, the emotional aftermath, by focusing on the story of one boy who lost his father.   I could feel the torment in my heart, like never before.

But it took years for it to unfold what that day would mean to our nation and how our country would change.  That involved liberties lost,  several wars,  tens of thousands more deaths.   It meant torture was sanctioned as a means for security.   It meant that national security was elevated beyond personal freedom. Phones could be tapped and library cards reviewed.    I could not begin to enumerate all the changes--political, social, cultural, worldwide--that have resulted from that one event.

The term '911' has become an abbreviated reminder of what happened, and how we have changed as a result of it.

The earlier anniversary, (our marriage)  has always been for us a reason to rejoice and celebrate. The changes brought by that event were monumental. They impacted us as individuals, as a couple, as a family.    I sometimes think that the marriage was as great a personal blessing for us, as the second anniversary was a  tragedy for our nation.   Both created a new way of being,   for better [1982], and for worse [2001].

I do know with certainty that I would not be the person I am today, had not our 1982 event occurred.

This is a day both of sorrow and of joy.

Anniversary Celebration

We just enjoyed a wonderful thirtieth anniversary celebration, gathering together many family and friends for a lovely evening.    There is no greater joy an being surrounded by those you love!

Six of the seven children were present.  Most of the grandchildren, and the two great-grandchildren were also there.  People traveled from Vermont (Gerry's daughter and her family),  and from Long Island  (V&M and Matt's parents also came).   One of the grand-children came from Watertown/Fort Drum area.

  There were old friends from the Cornell community,  and new friends from Cortland.   Also, there were tables of friends from Moravia and Fayetteville.

I think the food was good and enjoyed by the guests.  Daughter Vic had put together a wonderful slide show showing family photos Through the Years.   Friends of ours provided wonderful entertainment by singing the old Kenny Rogers song:  Through the Years.

This was the equivalent of our big Fiftieth Reunion, which we now won't have to worry about doing.  It does seem unlikely that we will both be around for that.

I'd call this event one of the Highlights of our Lives!   A big word of appreciation to all those who came, and to all those who helped make it possible.

At the end of the program, Gerry gave a beautiful tribute to me---some of the things that he loves about me.  It was so sweet.

Following those comments,  the evening ended with, surprisingly, of all things, a standing ovation!

Body Image

A project that I have been working on lately has required that I go digging in places where old photographs live.   I have looked in boxes in the basement, in photo albums, in the cedar chest, and it has been quite a little trip down memory lane.

I have seen family photos taken at every stage of our lives, collectively and individually.  Life is one continuous series of changes. Growing, changing, graduating, birthing, moving, growing up, moving on, etc.    I have seen pictures of the various places we have lived.  One thing I observed from that is that as far back as 1972, which would be forty years ago, I always made some attempt at growing a vegetable garden, wherever I lived. My conclusion is that I must really like to watch things grow.

Looking at old pictures of oneself is an odd experience, at least it is for me.  And it is an odd experience because when I see pictures now of what I looked like then,  I know that I did not feel like the pictures looked.  It is hard to explain and put into words.  Mostly it has to do with self-esteem and self-image and self-concept.   The self in my head has never been entirely in sync with the embodied self.

I saw pictures of me in my slimmer days.  There were a number of those time frames over the years, in my 20's, 30's and 40's.  Now I can see that there were times when I looked really great,  but I know, because I lived in my own head, that I never felt like I looked great.   I don't know how to explain that or even understand it, exactly.

In my early 20's,  once, I lost 50 pounds in a three month period, and went from a very large size to a very small size in a short period of time.   But I was unable to see that difference in the mirror. My inside could not comprehend my outside.

Now that I ponder all of this,  I can see that I was able to internalize being the overweight person,  but I was never able to internalize being the slender person.

While it makes me happy to see pictures of a beautiful young woman,  it also makes me a little sad, knowing that I never lived in her skin.

1982

Addendum:  After writing this, I looked up body image dysmorphia, having heard of that.  My own mental discrepancy between reality and perception does not rise to that level.  I have not suffered from anxiety, depression, nor compulsive behaviors associated with this mental peculiarity.

Laundry Complaints

I don't usually complain about household chores, and in fact, there are many of them that I downright enjoy!   I don't even mind washing dishes.  I suppose the only thing I really dislike is scrubbing floors on my hands and knees, which is sometimes required for certain spots.

Today was laundry day.  I saved up a lot of it, so I would have a full load of whites and a full load of color.  I suppose I don't usually wait so long, so it made for a lot of laundry.

Most of the white stuff belonged to my husband.  As I stood there for a long time, turning every piece from wrong side out to right side out,  I began to notice.  Mostly, it is just a rote, non-thinking activity.    First the underwear, then the tee shirts.  There were quite a few of each of those.  But then, I got to the socks!  Every one of the 24 socks were wrong side out.  When they are freshly washed, the fabric tightens up, so it is not easy to get your hand in there to turn them right.

This made me wonder if there was any possibility that I might get my husband to change his behavior.   Or is it too late to ask that?  Or expect that?   I can tell you that by the time I got the last of the socks folded,  I was rather annoyed.   It's a really good thing he wasn't home!

When he gets home and asks about my day,  I just might tell him!

Tomatoes Tomatoes Tomatoes

Back when the critters ate all my plants,  I gave up on gardening.  It was too depressing.  However, I ended up with a "feral garden",  one filled with volunteer tomato plants growing wildly all over the place, intertwined, on top of one another, so thick that I really had a hard time harvesting them,  though I have been doing that for weeks now.

Certainly, there have been more tomatoes than I could possibly use.  My most recent venture was yellow tomato preserves, a sweet concoction.  Before that,  there was tomato chutney, a hot dish.   And of course, there have been tomatoes in salads, BLT's,  and fried green tomatoes, to name just a few of the many tomato creations that have graced our table.

But I have grown tired of it, so yesterday, I ripped out most of the tomato plants from the garden.  You can see the remains.   I'll just leave those there,  even though I know that tomato plants will fill up the garden all by themselves.   However, I DO plan to have a fence installed so that I can have a real garden next spring.

Actually, now that I think about that we plan to be traveling all next summer, so there won't be much point in planting a garden, as I will not be here to tend to it.  So I guess,  I can postpone the fence for the year after that.

 Boy, am I planning ahead.

I have a particular vision of a lovely garden in my head, which has yet to be actualized.   But I'm confident I'll live to see it!

Patio Addition

Recently,  Gerry has  been working on a patio addition to our back yard.   It is almost finished, though not completely, as you can see from the one board that is not yet attached.

This has been a huge project, actually, involving a lot of digging, leveling, building the frame underneath.   Putting on the top pieces has been the easy part.  There is still a lot of screwing yet to be done.

But already,  we are especially enjoying the morning coffee routine on the deck.
It does not really work in the afternoon,  as the sun is much too intense and hot, though when cooler weather comes, that will probably not be an issue at all.

I used to enjoy sitting in the sun room to drink my coffee.    Because we had the sun room, there wasn't any reason to sit outside.  But now that I am sitting outside,  I do enjoy the cool morning air,  the cool evening air, and the closeness to nature.

It is like having a whole new room in our house.   Only, this one is outside, which proves to be a very lovely addition.