I was just watching a Johnny Carson interview with Donna Summer, aired because Donna Summer passed away today. She said in that interview, what I have heard other famous people say: "I always knew I was special." "I always knew I was born for greatness." [Oprah] Etc.
Such a notion is unimaginable to me! My own experience was quite to the contrary. Anything but! I suppose the truth is that in my childhood, I was clearly kept in my humble place, as part of my Southern upbringing. Seen but not heard. There but not noticed. Present but not important. I never felt even remotely "special", other than that God loved me. I thought that was special, though not necessarily about me personally. That was more about God.
In fact, I was in my late twenties before I got the remotest clue that I might have anything special about me at all! I was attending a particular church at the time, and ended up taking on the responsibility for the pre-school associated with it. In church one Sunday, I overheard someone say: "Nancy is very talented." This was phenomenal news to me! In the primary relationship of my twenties, I was constantly put down, which did not help my sense of self esteem.
So the idea of always having had some notion of one's greatness, or talent, or special-ness, is beyond my ability to comprehend.
When I married Gerry, I became special. When I had children, I became special. When I went into the ministry, I became quite special to other people. I suppose there is some merit to discovering later in life, that you are special, or have a special ability, or a particular gift, or a specific talent.
Discovering that you are special is something worth waiting for! I am grateful to be able to get there at all. Sadly, I know many people never do!
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