If I had to name them, it would look something like this, though several of the time-frames and primary identities overlap.
Childhood and youth growing up in Mississippi, preacher's kid.
My twenties, single adult, first job, bad marriage, having babies.
My thirties, Cornell employee, raising children, getting married, Gerry's wife. Excellent marriage.
Ministry. Being called. Preparing. Studying. Being ordained. Taking on the clergy identity. Serving. This period spanned twenty years, and included residences in three different locations. It also included Vee's years of school, Gerry's two cancers, my appointments.
Retirement. We decided to move to a town where we had never lived previously. At most of the previous stages, the center of life and activities, work and relationships, was the church. Retirement meant that we would not have a tailor made community. We would not already know people. We would have to re-invent our lives once again.
In thinking about doing this, it occurred to me that there are many people who have never undertaken such an adventure. Many folks live in the same town where they were born, and may leave briefly, but return and live most of their lives in the same location.
I am most pleased with the progress we have made in our community-building endeavors, in a completely new location. Gerry's socialization was pretty much already in place (skiing buddies; Cornell faculty folks). I did not have any pre-existing group with which to engage, and have had to start from scratch.
I think I have "created" just exactly the kind of life I want. I have church opportunities and friends, tennis buddies, a ladies social group, family contact and get-togethers, lunch with friends.
In my "dream book", years ago, I wrote down what I hoped my "ideal retired life" would look like.
And the wonderful thing is, it looks just exactly like that!
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