What I Thought I Wanted

When I retired five years ago, I thought that I still wanted to be in ministry.....just not in a full time, or long term appointment.  Rather, I believed, I wanted to do interim ministry.

For the first two years, I did have those opportunities within my tradition.  But my denomination was in the midst of great change.  It became four times as large, considerably less collegiate,  and as a retiree soon my own connection to it waned.

As I reflect on all that has transpired, and think about where I am now, relative to where I want to be in my life,  I conclude that sometimes it is a very good thing when you do not get what you want!   If indeed,  I had gotten numerous interim opportunities in my own denominational tradition,  that would have meant three months here, six months there, 6 weeks here and there and lots of time on the road.  In other words, I would have been a permanent transient.   And for this stage of my life, that is definitely not what I really want.

What I really want is to be part of a community,  to be part of a church community,  to make new friends, to use my gifts and talents, and to serve.   Ironically,  I would not have all those things if I had gotten what I originally thought I wanted!

So the lesson here is:   What you think you want may not really be what you actually want!  In other words, be careful what you ask for.

I love the connections I have now, the activities,  the opportunities, and the new friends.  These were not part of my original plan!

Clearly, God knows better than I do.  That has always been true, though sometimes I forget!