Growing Hair

Growing hair is a learning experience.  Having decided to grow a chin length bob takes me into unknown territory, hair wise.  Specifically,  that is the territory of lots of unappealing layers along the way.

But I have made more progress than I really expected to.  In the past, any attempt to grow hair has resulted in a quick snip of my scissors,  and a swift return to the familiar hair-self of the past 40 years!!

I figured there is no reason not to attempt this now. If ever I am going to do something different, now is the time. I have gotten past the need to color my hair, so the gray is also a new look, and I have adjusted to that.

 I have the time to mess with it for however long it might take, or however many times during the day.  One needs the time, and also the tools, as well as the products.   There are hundreds of hair products on the shelves.  How does one know what one needs?   There are serums to remove the frizz.  There are products to bring on the shine, add body, encourage curl, fix heat damage, etc.  There are countless, endless products.

An interesting discovery along the way----if I am not going for the poofy short look, which requires a daily shampoo,  then it is much better not to wash my hair every day.  In fact, the longer I go without washing my hair  (3-4 days?? though I don't think I've gotten that far yet),  the better it looks.

While my hair feels really long to me,  I cannot actually tell what it looks like.   Wondering about that has even inspired me to take my first selfie!   (I hate pictures of me to begin with, so to take a selfie is another first!!)  Seeing my hair in the selfie makes me realize it is not as long as it feels.

At any rate,  I am doing so well at leaving it alone and letting it grow, that I might actually have some success in getting it to the particular style to which I aspire.

The last time I had really long hair was in 1975, when I was pregnant with my third child.   My goal then was to be able to wear it in a knot on the top of my head.  I did grow it long enough to do that,  but when I put it in that knot,  the hair slid right out and would not stay.  Now I understand that if I had used certain products, I could have gotten it to stay,  but I was a long hair virgin.

Growing my hair is a fun experience. Every day is different and a real adventure.

I am posting the picture even though I do not really like it at all.  It is just for a basis of comparison for six months from now.

Arts Challenge

Along with my collaborator, Paulette, we entered an original song into the Community Arts Challenge.  This year's theme:  Joy.

I wrote the words to a poem about joy, and Paulette wrote lovely music reflecting the words, and a beautiful young woman named Elizabeth Martin sang the song  "That's What It Is".   It was the only "live" music performance, as the other musical entry was on a CD.   That being the case,  it was the highlight of the evening.

Since it was the only live music, not surprisingly, our song won First Place.    Still,  I am very proud of the event and the recognition. and the song.   Paulette should get 95% of the credit, though.  

Another friend from church,  Sandy, an artist of a different kind, entered a painting entitled "Bach Joy".   It is a painting of Paulette playing the organ at church.  Sandy identified listening to Paulette play Bach is a source of great joy for her.

What would be the height of joy for me would be if Sandy, who is a dancer,  would choreograph a dance number for next year's Arts Challenge.  They have not had an entry in the Dance category, perhaps ever in the five years it has been happening.   I would love to see half a dozen senior citizen ladies doing a simple dance number.  And oh how I would love to be among them!

We'll see!!

Simple Living

  I am reading a book called  Sustainable Happiness, a compilation of articles from Yes, Magazine.

Reading this has helped me to clarify my own thinking,  and in particular, realize that my own thinking is, in fact, a philosophy and a specific choice of lifestyle.

I won't repeat here the content of the book.  But perhaps I can comment a bit on where I am in my own life at this particular time.  One of my retirement notions was that I would nurture family and friendships  (which sometimes were on the back burner during full time employment).  But now, at least to some degree,  I have definitely worked on the nurturing, seeing each one of my children on a regular one-on-one basis, as well as at larger family gatherings.

I have also nurtured a few friendships, and have made a few new ones as well.

One of the biggest benefits of my unencumbered life (no work schedule) has been that I have had time to be creative, and to let my creative self emerge.  There has been a considerable amount of fruit from that labor.

I notice in Sustainable Happiness that all of these things are the very heart of what brings satisfaction in one's life.

The other really big one is making a difference.   I do hope that in some ways I do.  I am confident that there are those who would miss me if I were not here.   I think I have probably made an impact on some people during the years of my ministry,  and have contributed to the spiritual growth of others.  Perhaps I still make that kind of a difference with my occasional preaching opportunities. Hopefully, I am a positive role model.

Other features of simple living include:  being non-materialistic;  being concerned for the greater good;  being concerned for the earth itself and its future.     We are very conscientious about re-cycling every aspect of our consumption.  Now that I purchase very little processed food,  the size of our trash is quite small.   Nothing is wasted. Anything no longer wanted is given to charity.

I learned long ago that shopping does not yield happiness.   I get pleasure out of very small purchases;  I get even more pleasure out of being able to get my favorite shoes repaired, rather than replaced.

All of this allows for a new openness,  making room so that new and exciting and interesting things can come in.

It certainly brings peace.

To Weigh or Not to Weigh

I read an article recently written by a woman which was entitled “Why I Weigh Every Day.”  She gave all the reasons why she does that.  They are numerous and completely logical.   She loves that assurance, structure, pattern, knowledge.  She did say:  “There are probably people out there who should not weigh every day.  You know who you are.”

 She also went on to say how she wished that all recipes were given in weights by the gram, because she loves to weigh everything in her kitchen, also.  I’ll admit that it does strike me a  little bit obsessive compulsive,  but I do not want to get into any kind of critical territory, because my husband is one of those who weighs every day.  He is always struggling with those two or three pounds.  (never much more than that)  And somehow, weighing every day keeps him on track.

I thought the other side ought to be heard from---those of us who definitely ‘should not weigh every day.’   After having a weight problem for much of my entire life,  the scales became the evil enemy who was going to deliver the Horrible Daily News of what a Horrible Person I am.  From the weight -struggle perspective,  weighing can become nothing more than a daily dose of worthlessness.   And I will readily admit that for many years,  I gave to the scales the power and the ability to determine my mood,  my feelings about myself, and whether or not I was going to have a good day, or go into a deep depression.

The number on the scales never did motivate me to lose weight.  Quite the opposite.  It served primarily to feed the fire of self-hatred.   I have been motivated on several occasions in my life to lose a large amount of weight,  but the motivation came from inside,  or from some non-numerical goal---never from the scales.  

You may wonder:  how do I keep track?  My clothes tell me clearly what I need to know.

There are countless other numbers by which, from which, through which my worthiness has been measured.   Number of people present in a worship service.  Percentage of  Shared Ministry paid.  Amount of salary.   Number confirmed, baptized.  Grade point average.   Number of books sold.  Cholesterol number.  Number of states visited.  Number of children, grandchildren.  Test scores.  Number of blog hits.  And on and on it goes.  Infinite are the ways by which my worth can be gauged by the numbers.

While the numbers may not lie,  there are certainly things they cannot tell.

I am happy and love my life.  I am healthy and free from disease.   I have loving relationships, free from conflict.  I am creative and occasionally make a difference in the world.

One cannot measure any of that by the numbers.

On Hair

After essentially having the same hairdo for fifty years, except for a couple of times of growing it out,  I am once again going for, hoping for a "new do".  The problem is, as soon as it gets any length, any different really,  it is so uncomfortable that I soon cut it all off.  I have been cutting my own hair for all of my adult life, with one or two exceptions.

This is the hairdo I am hoping to achieve, a sleek bob.

Already my hair has started to get longer, at least the layers.  I have cut the back, as the sides have grown out.  The problem is, I cannot get my hair to look anything like this picture, though the layers are similar now, though not as long.   It has been driving me crazy for days.  That of course, does not bode well for allowing for future hair growth.  When I cannot stand it any more,  I usually just cut it.

I recognized that I have been so frustrated, with two or three really bad hair days,  that last night I was wondering about how you do this hairdo.    I googled You Tube for a demonstration!!   Now I have an idea of how such a thing is accomplished.   It involves a curling iron, which I have never mastered, but perhaps now I will!!

It is hard to believe that you can find out how to do most anything these days on the internet.  I had just never thought about it until last night, that I might even be able to solve my hair problems by resorting to the Internet!  Who knew??

A lovely young lady with purple hair demonstrated the technique!   Now I am off to take my shower to begin a new day, with hopefully a new "do"!

In the Silence

I love to sit and drink my morning coffee.  All alone, in the deep silence.   One might think that there was nothing  going on,  but nothing could be further from the truth.   I somehow tap into an endless well of creativity.

I have a new creative challenge which opens the floodgates of my mind.
I don't want to rush it;  I want to  relish each morsel and bit.
It's for some far off future time.

I do enjoy the silence.   No need for music in the background.  And frequently, not even for conversation.  I am comfortable in the silence.  We live in lots of it,  Gerry and I,  but it is fertile, and rich and productive, like good soil.   Good soil silence.  He would love that image.
So do I.


I also love the image below, of a giant sequoia. strong, and silent and lasting.  Awe inspiring.

Journaling

I never intended for this blog/ journal to end up being a poetry place.  But so far, things of nature have inspired me, and that is what has happened.

Since I am no longer sharing this blog with the public,  I can say and publish here pretty much whatever I want, though I would always be mindful that whatever is out there on the internet  with my name on it, is out there forever.

The thought in my mind for this blog for this year is that it will be a personal journal, and a place to record the happenings and especially the pictures that I want to keep and remember.   I no longer make photo albums, and rarely even get pictures developed from my digital camera.   But some family pictures need to be preserved somewhere,  so if I manage to get any of those,  this will be the place.

I have discovered that nowadays for most people, if one wants to show a picture of their family, or the new baby, or the wedding, or even recently,  a grandchild's sonogram!!---they simply get out their smart phone.  I have that kind of phone,  but have not gotten into using it to take pictures.

If poetry happens here,  that is fine too.  I am dedicated to whatever flows from the heart, soul, spirit, and living in that present moment.     If poetry is what emerges in my mind,  as I sit down to journal for the day, that will be okay.

I know there's a lot of it in there.   Maybe it has just been waiting for release.

I like that phrase as a title of something, perhaps a blog full of poetry---- Waiting for Release.

New Year Day One

Sunset

A bright orange sun sets on the horizon,
as Christmas lights still sparkle on the bushes,
both reminders of things gone by.

Day one of the New Year.
Oh, how they fly, each one.

Before you know it, a week is gone
and then a month, oh, dear.

They come and they go with increasing speed,
so quickly spent,
This coming and going of a year.

Don't want to miss a sunset or a sky
while they flash by in the blink of an eye.

As does life.

U.S. Department of Interior Photo, Canyonland National Park