A Feminist of Sorts

I would have to say that I have been and am a feminist or sorts.  Not the kind that is radical, or hates men, or wants to be like them.  But the kind that believes in equality between men and women--particularly when it comes to equal pay for the same work. While women may have different strengths to bring to life's table, their value and contributions are in no way less significant than those of men. Also,  I believe firmly that marriage is a partnership of equals, and that the husband and wife are interdependent. Submission is a recipe for disaster in a marriage.

Recently, I was reflecting on all of this as it has to do with money and wealth. What one's relationship is to money is an interesting thing to ponder.  Truthfully, I never had much for most of my life.   When Gerry and I first got married, the fact that I could not bring home a paycheck equal to his really bothered me. It was an emotional stumbling block for me. But it was clear that that was never going to happen. We had had different opportunities and paths in life. I had children and child care issues and all the challenges that brings.

 In some ways, we have a different approach to managing money.  Gerry is the treasurer of our family, we like to joke.  Thankfully, neither of us is a big spender, but we each do feel free to spend money if there is something that might be especially meaningful to us---a cruise, for instance, or expensive ski gear.  We are mostly in agreement when it comes to our relationship with money. Mostly.

Gerry believes that one's savings should at least keep up with inflation, or grow at that rate;  therefore, he wants to earn interest.   I have a different feeling.  I want to protect the money I do have, and do not care one bit whether it earns a penny of interest.   At this point in my life, I do have a little money of my own which I have squirreled away.  It sits in a savings account that makes absolutely no money. Neither does it lose its value.  In the past month, my pension fund  has lost tens of thousands of dollars in value.

But I digress.  What I really wanted to address in this blog was the struggle I originally had when I could not make as much money as my husband.   I did eventually come to terms with all of that, and I now realize the great value of what I  have brought to our lives, our relationship, our family.

I give birth and care and tend.  Like most women, I am the keeper of the family relationships and emotions.  I create a home and a warm place to gather.  I manage the social calendar and the food.  It is hard for me to imagine, really, that life could be worth much without family and loved ones.

I would not necessarily limit family to a biological connection. Family can also be a group of supportive friends, or a congregation, or a softball team---those closest to us who bring joy into our lives, and love us.

Part of my own journey as a feminist is coming around to understanding my own worth---regardless of  my income, or how much money I could contribute to the pot.  Some things of great value cannot be measured by the usual markers of this old world of status or wealth or worldly success.