Second Hand Pain

Second hand pain is what one experiences when they watch a loved one suffer excruciating pain.   The second hand pain has within it a sense of helpless,  of not being able to provide relief for the one you love.   It hurts to watch, observe, feel shut out, useless.

I am having this experience at the present time!

So far, my own strategy has been to just let my husband suffer his agony and pretty much stay out of the way!

I have lost track now of how many days it has been that Gerry had been dealing with a combination of muscle spasm, a pinched nerve, and insomnia.  As he says, he can deal with the pain, but not the lack of sleep.   One cannot go for days and weeks without some relief.

Gerry went to the doctor last week, and also to a physical therapist.  The medication offered by the doctor, an anti-inflammatory, has been useless in providing any relief.  The exercises suggested by the physical therapist have not lessened the pain.  Today he has an appointment with his regular doctor (who wasn't there last week).  We hope and pray that they will give him either a muscle relaxer or a sleep aid, and preferably both!!

This makes me think of caregivers, and sometimes what they must go through over a very long period of time, when a loved one suffers.  I have personally observed the long slow journey of Alzheimer's and its devastation,.  In the case of my mother, in time, she just slept.   It seemed like a peaceful sleep. Of course, she was on a variety of medications, but at least she was no longer agitated.

Medication is what I hope we can get for Gerry! Over the counter meds have not touched the pain.  

I am especially concerned about mental and emotional deterioration that comes from insomnia.

I know that this notion of "second hand pain" is nothing compared to the real thing.

But it is not easy.