Body Image Issues Reverse

When I was in my early twenties,  I decided to go on a drastic,  (medically supervised) weight loss program.  The plan allowed 500 calories a day.   The result of that was an amazingly quick, and considerable weight loss of 50 pounds in three months.   It was so drastic, that there were actually people who did not recognize me when they saw me after not having seen me for a while.

Of course, that was very thrilling,  or at least it would have been, if I had been able to process it;  if I had been able to see that change in the mirror.  But I could not.  When I looked in the mirror, surprisingly, I saw what I had always seen.   My mental image could not comprehend the new image in the mirror.   Because of that, for a long time, I continued to wear baggy cover-up clothes--nothing form fitting or touching my body.   It took many many months, if not longer, for my mental image to catch up with the reality of the mirror image.

Fast forward.  Now I am a senior citizen.  I gained most of that weight back over time, mostly in the past 20 or so years.  I gained and lost weight a number of times, through four pregnancies, and so forth.   I could probably be called a yo-yo dieter,  though I am less interested in diets these days than in eating healthy, nutritious foods.

But I have recently become aware of a strange phenomenon. When I look in the mirror these days,  I see the body of a much smaller person.   By what the scales tell me,  I am a much larger person than what my mental image suggests.  It seems as if my body image issues have reversed themselves.

Once, I could not see the smaller person I had become.  Now I do not see the larger person I must be. I'm not sure which one of those I think is better.

While I may not be the ideal size or weight I would like to be,  I am comfortable with my body, and in my own skin.   Most of all, I am extremely grateful for the wellness and health I have enjoyed thus far in my life.

That is worth infinitely more than any number on any scale!!