Not Pecked
By Nancy Rehkugler
I
recently read an article about how supportive Elizabeth Warren’s husband has
been of her career. As a general rule, I
do not read the Comments following any on-line article. Rarely are they worthy of one’s time or
attention. However, I could not help but
notice the very first comment located just at the end of the article. It irked me deeply.
The
person commenting said of Warren’s husband,
Bruce Mann, that he was surely “henpecked”. My visceral reaction caused me to examine
the inherent meaning of that word.
The
word, when applied to a supportive husband, clearly implies that any man who is
engaged in an equal partnership with his spouse is somehow ‘pecked’ into being
less than a man. In fact, the exact
opposite is true. A real man does not
need to dominate, oppress, belittle, or control
the person he loves. Rather, he
encourages her, helps her, cheers for her, and enables and celebrates her
success. The word “henpecked” when used
to describe a supportive husband has nothing to do with the husband, and
everything to do with the person who uses the word. Such a person is very insecure about his manhood.
Such a man can only affirm his manhood
by belittling women and girls.
Misogyny
is a belief system that arises out of male-dominated societies. Such societies always place women in a
position of subordination. Misogyny manifests
in many ways in societies, and has been around for thousands of years. From pornography to anorexia, to plastic
surgery, to self-hatred, women have a long history of subjugation. Every major religion has perpetrated some
form of misogyny, and every major
philosopher and thinker from Aristotle to Nietzsche has considered women
inferior.
Misogynistic
rhetoric on the internet has become increasingly vile. It is always directed most viciously toward
women in the public sphere. Women who
speak out, who seek positions of
leadership or power will inevitably be targeted. And any husband of such a woman will be
vilified as weak and unmanly. The truth
is that only a man who is completely secure and self-aware and successful in
his own right would ever be able to partner with a woman of substance and
significance.
Whenever
such a husband is called “henpecked,” be fully aware of the source and meaning
of such a word. It always comes from a
position of powerlessness and impotence.
