Visisting John

 A long-time friend and colleague, Richard with whom I once worked told me about John's diagnosis with colon cancer.    He said that in a recent Zoom meeting, John commented how much he would love to see me and Gerry.   Richard strongly encouraged us to visit John because he is on Hospice and may not be around for too long.  I could not envision how such a visit might go.

I once worked with John in admissions at the University.  I figured that it would have to be pre-1985 that I had worked with him, because after my last child was born,  I worked half-time in a different capacity and would not have worked with John after that.   That means that it might have been 38 years previously that I had last seen John, and then probably only briefly.   

I could not even imagine how he would even know who I/we are after that many years!  John also knew Gerry because John worked in Admissions in the College of Engineering, and I worked in Admissions at the College of Agriculture.  so the connections were there, but somewhat obscure.  In my mind,  there would not be anything to talk about.  I knew that I could ask him about his illness, and a few other conversational areas.

We finally found a time to visit.  It had to be outside,  due to John's illness and Covid. There was an opening in the weather that would finally permit an outside visit on his uncovered deck.  John was lively,  animated,  vivacious, and not at all what I expected of someone on Hospice!  And we had a lovely visit talking about things and people that the three of us had in common.   

I must admit that my own history of constant moving, for much of my life,  had not taught me the lesson I learned that day.   And that lesson is that it does not really matter if 30 or 50 years have passed,  people still have common ground,  memories,  stories to share.   John had never heard my stories of going into the ministry.  And that happened 32 years ago.

John had nearly died from the chemo and radiation treatments three years earlier.  They gave him months to live.  Three years have passed.  He manages,  though he has surely lost a lot of weight.

But I am grateful for having learned that the distance of years does not mean that a relationship of many years ago somehow completely vanishes, no matter how insignificant that relationship might have been.   People leave an impression,  a specific memory,  a lingering note of their presence.

That was a valuable lesson to learn.   One that I will remember hereafter.