My husband and I have very different backgrounds. But I never cease to be amazed at how each of our backgrounds impacted our lives. The influence of our childhoods, though vastly different, affected each of us in quite similar ways.
Gerry has often talked about how hard life on the farm really was. He had to go to work in the fields early, and had little childhood. Toys were pretty much non-existent. Prices were unpredictable. Weather was unpredictable. There were good years and bad years. There was little money. The physical labor was grueling, and so on and so on.
I have often said that the life of a preacher's family is no picnic. There are endless expectations of one's presence, one's behavior, one's appearance, and so forth. Always on display. The pastor's wife is expected to participate in all church functions, as are all family members. The pastor's children are expected to be perfect little angels, much better behaved than other children their age. (They rarely are.)
So naturally, knowing how hard it was, Gerry did not pursue being a farmer when he grew up. His path led him to the College of Agriculture, where he ended up studying agricultural engineering and being a professor and creating farm machinery. Although he never again lived on a farm, clearly his farm background shaped his character and his career,. So you could say, in a unique way, the "apple doesn't fall far from the tree." In this case, the apple is literal, since he grew up on an apple farm.
As an adult, I did continue to be an active church member, wherever I happened to be, which was a great variety of different places. So in that way, I stayed connected to my roots. I had several careers, which included being a teacher and a college administrator. But in the end, the church participation turned into a deep commitment, which in time resulted in a strong sense of calling to the ministry which could not be denied.
I grew up in the Deep South and had disavowed early on that specific expression of Christianity, which was steeped in racism, and also, sexism, I might add. I remember vividly a seminary professor saying: "Every generation will interpret the gospel for their own time."
Somehow, that was liberating and I knew that I would have my own personal way of doing just that, based on my experience, my education, my time, place and gender. And although it is vastly different from my parents' experience, I believe that I am still being faithful to God and the Gospel.
So the bottom line is--although I retired years ago from my full time ministry---I continue to preach because it is basically who I am, what I do.
Even though Gerry retired even more years ago than I, every trip in the car involves commenting on the fields and the crops. Every project of interest involves agriculture in one way or another. Most recently he has created a photographic record of all the defunct silos in our county and is working on a presentation for the Living History Museum.
I am currently involved in three different churches. One we attend and serve on committees. At another I have been a part-time pulpit supply preacher for the past five years. Recently, I have added another congregation once a month.
So my conclusion from all of this is that one is likely to recreate some version of one's childhood and family influences, or, in other cases, go completely the opposite direction into some areas that have no resemblance at all to who one used to be.
Whether one's path turns out to be repeating or avoiding their early influences, there is simply no escaping the past.
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